Christ, what stupid logic. She's acting all pissed off because she "had" to do the laundry by herself, except, get this, NOBODY WAS HOME. How the fuck am I supposed to help her do the laundry if I'm in school? A durrr, I can't, that's why if you want people to fucking help you then you WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE HOME. But, no, I guess someone was holding a gun to her head screaming, "OMG YOU BETTER DO THE LAUNDRY RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FUCKING NOW WHEN NO ONE IS HOME!!!!!!!"
The past hour has been filled with: screaming, crying, childish temper tantrum (on my part, but it was by myself to release my anger), doors slammed, guests being told about how shitty I am.
I decided that my funeral is going to be a fun atmosphere, because I like to make people smile and laugh. I will make a funny video to be shown at my funeral, and it will make people laugh. Most likely they will laugh and cry at the same time, but that's better than no laughter at all.
I don't think I can go, and for that I'm ashamed of myself. I haven't gotten over it completely. I think of going alone, completely utterly alone in an environment I have 0 memorable experience in. I'm getting sweaty, hot and red in the face, physically ill, sick to my stomach. I want to cry. I'm ashamed of myself for knowing this kid since second grade, even calling him my friend at one point. I shouldn't say I was ever his friend, I shouldn't have that honor. I can't even bring myself to go without someone with me. This is fucking dumb. I hate this fucking bullshit. I should be able to go, even alone. I should show my support. I should do something instead of sitting here. But I can't. Fuck.