Prayer @ MindSay

Character isn't who you are when life goes your way. Character is who you really are when the bottom falls out. -Lecrae

Y'know, rock bottom gets a bad rap. Rock bottom's where God was finally able to get my attention. I feel like we're only scared of it because we don't really know our way around down there, we want all our other stuff. If you were there and you weren't freaking out about it, you could actually get to know the terrain a bit. Get to know the rock, as it were, and start building from there. When there's nothing in the way, that rock is the most solid thing I know.
 
Reading about Daniel, and his praying three times a day. And I've known Daniel's story since I was a kid. Praying three times a day, shoot, we do that at mealtimes.

But it's been bothering me, that I don't have a place and time for "quiet time" with God while we're out on the water. It used to just be when I first woke up, before I opened the curtains, the one place in this city where I had privacy.

Now I work nights, and it's now Pavlov conditioning, even when I've had more than six hours, that if I'm horizontal, I'm sleeping. I'm always out inside of two minutes, and when I first wake up, if I'm not OUT in two minutes, I'll fall back asleep again.

I've taken to keeping my Bible in a drawer in my workcenter, and so far the guys leave me alone when I'm reading. Two chapters a day and I'll finish the New Testament before we get home. The Gentleman and I compare notes through email about what we're learning, and knowing that I have a friend to write to makes me all the more eager to find little hidden gems to share.

But the time with God is lacking.

I talk to Him as I'm dashing about the labyrinth, especially on trouble calls, or when I feel my attitude start to slip, but that's not the same.

Three times a day. Read that, and I was thinking of what I used to do in my dorm, when sunrise was me-and-God time, and I'd time my alarm for five minutes before sunrise so we could share it together. Before leaving the room, seeing anyone else, we'd have an hour or so, when I wouldn't even bother about getting dressed - just pray, and praise, and thank Him, and read, and enjoy His presence. But it just got me, even if I only have thirty seconds, I can find some time on knees by the old beat-up couch to talk with Him.

I pray for GS a lot. I have good friends here, and I pray for God to send him one when it's his turn to go out.

I pray for my sisters, which leads back to praying for GS's family, and then loops back to our friends. A lot of my prayers start out, "God, I don't know what to pray for or how to pray - I just really want to talk to you and be closer to you," and then there turns out this great run-on for everyone I love and it flows back to showing me where I need to ask for His help and His forgiveness in my life.

I pray for God to change my heart. Every day. Because it's a mess.

Mom taught me to end every day making a list of ten - it could be more, but needed at least ten - things that I was thankful for. A lot of really silly things showed up on that list, but it became a joyful drive, to spend the day looking for things like the person who waited for me and the two violets that came up where only I could see them.

I learned a lot on the last trip about taking care of my body. If I go vegetarian, my energy lasts longer. If I run most days, my moods level out. If I don't eat sugar, I don't plunge into depression (that, and my face doesn't break out so much). It feels like, "Okay Ambr, you got those basics. Now it's time to take care of your soul."
And I'm thinking, "Here?!"

Yes. Here.

Because what I know, and haven't really admitted to myself, is that these are as basic and common-knowledge as the idea that vegetables are good for you. I want something better than excuses. I want to live out God again.

God doesnt exsist , if he did he would answer my unchanging prayer.  To sleep, and never wake.

 

~ It still goes unanswered , cause here I am

I know you're out there and that you love me. Do you read blogs? Maybe. I don't know. It seems as good a place as any to send out a prayer, though, so here it goes.
Please Lord, help me and my family survive. Help us become financially stable, so that we may better do your will. Please help me get that Scholarship from Coca Cola, because I need it. I want to be able to pay for school, so I can be a nurse and help people. I want to serve you by helping others, and I'm asking pretty please for a miracle, so that I can do that. I have less than $100, my mom has $10 until Thursday, and both of our cars won't run. Thank you so much for my darling Kristopher, he is really helping me out through all of this. But even with his help, I still despair. It's hard for me to see how things will ever get better, and all I want to do it succeed in life and fulfill my calling to heal others, and to live in a way that pleases you. I don't know how to ask for you to save us from financial ruin. It sounds so shallow or materialistic, but just functioning is getting hard. Please... We need a miracle.
Thank you for all that you do. Please take care of Merri's hand, Kevin's temper, and my mom's MS. Please give hope and satisfaction to Angie, and understanding and wisdom to my dad.
Help me do your will.
Thank you, God.
I ask this in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Dear Jesus, 

to all of the churches and their members,My name is Kathryne Loukopoulos and I am opening my website www.prayersdocometrue.com to be able to help take care of God's Children and my own. Our Heavenly Father designed it and told me what to do and I did, so I hope you enjoy it for Our Heavenly Father dedicates it to all his Chosen Ones and Elect. God Bless.