I had this dream last night/this morning that a law was passed regarding speech. It was completely ridiculous. You were only allowed to use words that were the same length as your age.
For instance, if you were a one-year-old, you were limited to A, I, and after a LONG debate 'U'. As a 2-year-old, you got to add 'an', 'am', 'no' (and to sneakily say yes, you could say 'un-no') and a few other short ones. Couldn't say the word electricity until you were 11. Once you already WERE an age, you were allowed to retain those words (so a 3-year-old could get away with 'yes I am' without punishment), and obviously, there aren't MANY 20 or 30 letter words, so probably by age 15 or so, your vocabulary was pretty sound, but ... sucked.
Also, it meant all the precious 4-year olds were running around with the ability to say 'hell' 'damn' 'shit' 'fuck' and some other 'four-letter-words' that I don't even say :(. No one else saw this as a flaw in the plan.
Hello, dream day? Today was you. Even with Claudia out; the new sub was…Del….Bosely. She was nice, but she talked very loud. I gave her the usual ‘they might be crazy today’ speech, but they were ridiculous. Ridiculously calm! Wow. I taught them to play Palace, and that lasted until 9:30; half an hour longer than warm up is supposed to, but when everyone’s having fun and behaving, you shorten your reading period. A had a quick freak when it came time to have to read/sheet, but he calmed down. He’s actually really good at finding the nouns in a sentence; tomorrow we start verbs.
Cash-in also went well. A’s can was WAY off, but I sorted it all out. I gave him the warning that if he whined ONCE about signing off, computer was off the menu the rest of the day. He whined but when I reminded him he stopped IMMEDIATELY; and then 2nd cash-in’s end, we didn’t even have to go over. I said, ‘sign off’ and I turned around a minute later and he was logging off. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but with this kid…let’s put it this way, I wrote home about it. In his communication log today, along with how well he did reading AND math, it says, ‘A signed off the computer when he was asked’. If we don’t celebrate the victories, even the teensy baby steps that if a gen. Ed kid did I wouldn’t even blink, I think I’d go insane. It was so small, but it’s such an issue for him, I was as proud as could be.
To be honest, all 3 were so good ALL day. They cashed-in for a movie this afternoon, which means AGAIN, no Social Studies. It was probably a good afternoon because there wasn’t any academic stress, but it was also important that to get a movie, they ALL had to agree to spend money on it, and then they all agreed on what to watch. That’s social skills, people! Actually, E did not like what happened with the vote; he wanted to watch something else, and he was out-voted. Instead of having a cow, he went into break room to hang out by himself for a while. He even said he’d pay for the movie even though he wasn’t watching; he came out about half an hour in and half-watched, but that was some SUPER maturity on his part.
Jerry’s group proved to be too much. We were pretending we had toxic waste to move out of a circle. It was very similar to the cups and rubberbands game we played a few weeks ago, where 2 or more people had to pull their strings tight to tighten the rubberband to pick the cup up. Eventually, they were willing to follow my train of thought that we needed to all work together, but we never got around to really trying my hypothesis out. They also started to get very mad at A, cursing and some threats. Apparently, it’s Jerry. Which is weird, because they LOVE him, but the group or the cooperation, or it being the end of the day… not a good half hour for us. Tomorrow’s the pizza party, though, and I have high hopes for it. D especially. I mean, this is several weeks in a row that he's lost it during that last half hour on Wednesdays. We thought it was because we invited the 6th graders in that one time, but they haven't been back since, but he still loses it. I wonder why that is. I also wonder if he'll be in tomorrow; he was complaining at recess that he felt dizzy, but refused a trip to the nurse. He slept briefly during silent reading, and Parker said that when he touched his forehead, it was warm. Again, wouldn't go to the nurse (I told mom about it). Who knows.
I was wearing a golden shimmery dress and gold shoes and was walking up some red stairs in front of lots of people and there was this little girl I tripped over...
I think she was like wtf. I told her she stopped suddenly and I think she rolled her eyes.
I noticed I was walking wierdly, like I couldn't put my legs straight. I was walking somewhat like I was sitting.
My friend's brother and I ... Were talking about how I was having some problems and he gave me a hug, and we kissed too. no tongue though (I was worried, because he smokes. and that's disgusting! >.<).
The kiss was slow, as he came towards me, and I think he held my face or my shoulders and I remember feeling his lips against mine, they were dry. And his face close to mine, I think I was looking down, I don't know where he was looking.
Then he offered me cocaine. He said he had never tried it. I tried to convince him not to.
I think I was considering doing it with him, though.
Cocaine To dream that you are taking cocaine, indicates that you are feeling empty and devoid of emotions.� You are looking to get out of your commitments or denying your responsibilities. You lack ambition. On a more positive note, the dream may be telling you that you need to be more lively and energetic.
All the guys I have dated or even liked, are with or are evidently interested in someone.
That guy in my class? He likes this other girl.
The guy at work, well, I just don't know what's up with him. We only met not even a month ago.
And I am constantly reminded of it, too. In their display picture, someone asks me about them, I see them together, etc.
I want to say it doesn't hurt, but I can't. I am happy for them, but it still makes me sad. One that I like/d them, and another that I have not been with anyone for a long time, nor do I have many friends. It's not necessarily lonliness, just a general feeling of "wtf is wrong with me, why am I so unlikable?". I know I'm different, so I guess that rules out a ton of people that I also wouldn't want to date. I also see that most people around my age are immature and stupid and still think smoking is "cool". I'm not bashing smokers, but if you're only doing it because you think it's "cool", or to make people like you, yer dumb.
I want to be close to someone again, but I'm afraid and am kind of shrinking away from it as well.
I keep dreaming about a swimming pool in a sportsplex kind of place, the hallways, and I'm always searching for something.
I'm so drained and overwhelmed with homework and life!
I just want to hide under my blankets and stay there.
There's so many things I want and need to do! So little time, I'm exhausted.
I had a crazy nightmare last night about vacationing at a huge tudor style house, with beautiful gardens. Several other guests were there. One lady was eaten by an alligator in one of the ornamental garden ponds.
The owner of the house gave me some of his paintings, but I was so freaked out by the alligator thing and there were some other bad things going on (I was being dumped by some kind of boyfriend)..that even getting the paintings was bad. Oh and the artist/house owner wanted me to be his assistant for the summer, but all of the other visitors hated me.