Depression @ MindSay 
love
The magic of finding myself looking for another job!
Finding myself looking for another job... It's a bit funny as I had envisioned myself retiring as a ticket agent, heck it all just fit so well into our lives. For some reason a long term situation just isn't where things seem to be going for me at the station. And yet I simply get a sense that all things happen for a reason and so I'll let the universal energies spin their magic and see where I'm leading myself to next! Remembering it's not the destination but the journey itself that is the rich fabric of life! At first I felt remorse and a bit slighted with the way the change was presented. No matter, "it's not bad, it's not good, it's just what it is"; I remind myself and from that point of power I move forward, confident spirit always leads where I need to be.
Other exciting things are taking place that seem to hint at potential in new directions and activities. I've been nonchalantly looking into doing video logs or vlogs from the garden. I could even broadcast a show or two on blogtalk radio right from the garden, the ideas are getting me experimenting with new, fun tools. Skype looks like another interesting tool and I hope more people in North America start to take advantage of it. I've got to pick up a headset as I don't currently have a mic on this laptop, with that a lot of possibilities present themselves!
And then there's my mom who's health is starting to get shaky, perhaps it's time to consider working at home on a more steady basis. Between her, the house and the dogs there is a full time job right here. I'd be able to keep up the website and other work without a lot of competition for my time. I know those are things I'd prefer to spend my time doing. If the time is right the right opportunity will present itself!
The side bar to those ideas is the desire to maintain some even, calm through these new transitions as they present themselves. Depression can often divert my best intentions and ideals. I work to maintain a hopeful expectation without unbalancing a sense of calm ease within... I find that quite a challenge at the moment. My mum has taken ill with shingles and it has started to kick her butt. She's wobbly and weak and the nerve endings are very painful! Poor thing, she's so apologetic and I keep telling her, "don't worry it's just my turn to take care of you for a change!" How magical is that?
[Blog #312] --- Neutral --- [Tuesday] - A Stress Here, A Whinge There...
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Today's session with Dianne just seemed like an hour of whinging about Shelly.
Well it's not my fault - I'm supposed to talk about things that are on my mind and things that are bothering me recently - and at current, Shelly is being a bit of a twat at times.
Either way - even if it seemed I was whinging about her and nothing else, it did help a little. I got a chance to think about things I'd been putting off for a while.
Afterwards, I met up with Adam in the LRC.
Well, he met up with me - I was already there. He came bearing a bag full of Pringles - so I snaffled some. It's difficult to eat them quietly like. I was trying to suck them until they went soft so I could bite them and not cause a great disturbance via crunching - but that was easier thought than performed.
I was stressed out in English when Angela had her mini-rant about personal statements - and after she'd given me the 'stare-into-your-soul' glance, and I'd admitted I hadn't started mine - and the reason why - she said she'd help me with it if I stayed behind after the lesson. Fair do's - I would have just went straight home afterwards and continued to procrastinate and put it off anyway.
Oh, but Angela's a proper babe like. :D
She didn't write it for me as such - but she dictated a few starting sentences to me, giving me a clue of the type of things I needed to write.
And the fact Angela assured me that you DON'T actually need to blag about all these "positive qualities" you supposedly have as a person (naturally, I don't have ANY, so I find that task in itself impossible) - it was a lot easier than I expected it to be.
The majority of mine does come from writing about my interests. And because I'm so epic - most of the relate to the course I want to do at university. Hmm, now to have it critiqued by Sarah. :/
Dixie currently feels:
Neutral
Neutral -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog #312
A Stress Here, A Whinge There...
A Stress Here, A Whinge There...
Today's session with Dianne just seemed like an hour of whinging about Shelly.
Well it's not my fault - I'm supposed to talk about things that are on my mind and things that are bothering me recently - and at current, Shelly is being a bit of a twat at times.
Either way - even if it seemed I was whinging about her and nothing else, it did help a little. I got a chance to think about things I'd been putting off for a while.
Afterwards, I met up with Adam in the LRC.
Well, he met up with me - I was already there. He came bearing a bag full of Pringles - so I snaffled some. It's difficult to eat them quietly like. I was trying to suck them until they went soft so I could bite them and not cause a great disturbance via crunching - but that was easier thought than performed.
I was stressed out in English when Angela had her mini-rant about personal statements - and after she'd given me the 'stare-into-your-soul' glance, and I'd admitted I hadn't started mine - and the reason why - she said she'd help me with it if I stayed behind after the lesson. Fair do's - I would have just went straight home afterwards and continued to procrastinate and put it off anyway.
Oh, but Angela's a proper babe like. :D
She didn't write it for me as such - but she dictated a few starting sentences to me, giving me a clue of the type of things I needed to write.
And the fact Angela assured me that you DON'T actually need to blag about all these "positive qualities" you supposedly have as a person (naturally, I don't have ANY, so I find that task in itself impossible) - it was a lot easier than I expected it to be.
The majority of mine does come from writing about my interests. And because I'm so epic - most of the relate to the course I want to do at university. Hmm, now to have it critiqued by Sarah. :/
[Blog #318] --- Neutral --- [Monday] - LOL, Guilty Face!
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Mondays are always a chore at college.
I did a little bit of research in media studies - but on the whole, wasted most of the lesson. I'm getting so impatient... I want to get on and film Spieluhr! Hello...? MUSICBOXPLZKTHX.
English had its moment: Angela sodded off for half the lesson to go to a "meeting" - so I amused myself with my stationery slingshot - two pens, a long elastic band, some modelling clay and bits of rubber or paper balls as ammo. Naturally, from the back of the room, Adam was giving me the: "OMG YOU SILLY COW." look.
For some reason though - when she came back, and I'd fired about 25 paper balls around the room - she instantly knew it was me. Adam told me on MSN that I'd looked really guilty though - I'd gone bright red and hung my head. Well, I do remember pretending to read, lmao. Maybe I blushed more than what I thought. :)
Damn, I wish I wasn't so easy to read. :)
My moods have been fluctuating a lot recently - I've been going from feeling relativley sane and neutral to wanting to slit my throat in the space of five minutes. Thus, I've been in this lapsed mood where I just don't DO ANYTHING - just sit at my desk or lay on my bed and literally spend hours doing shite all.
So in order to make myself more productive - to stop myself wasting all this time, today I made myself a "TO DO" list. And I will say, it worked pretty well. :)
In the space of a few hours, I managed to redraft my personal statement, update three empty blogs, wrap up half of my Christmas presents (before the sellotape died a death, of course), I tidied up my room, filmed some filler clips for the Abigail film sequence, charged my iPod, charged some batteries and generally organised my life.
I watched an episode of Desparate Housewives with mam, ate some chicken sandwiches - then spent a few hours on the phone to Shelly - multi-tasking, as I wrote blogs and wrapped gifts at the same time.
Mam and I are going to watch I'm A Celebrity every night together. I'm only really wanting to watch it because Kim Woodburn is a fucking legend. :D
She's so funny, some of the random shite she comes out with. Sam Fox is hot too - and she's a lesbian. I instantly liked her for that one trait. :)
(And Adam did answer the Social Interview question of: 'what excites me?' with the answer: 'lesbians' - which made me instantly piss. :P)
Dixie currently feels:
Neutral
Neutral -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog #318
LOL, Guilty Face!
LOL, Guilty Face!
Mondays are always a chore at college.
I did a little bit of research in media studies - but on the whole, wasted most of the lesson. I'm getting so impatient... I want to get on and film Spieluhr! Hello...? MUSICBOXPLZKTHX.
English had its moment: Angela sodded off for half the lesson to go to a "meeting" - so I amused myself with my stationery slingshot - two pens, a long elastic band, some modelling clay and bits of rubber or paper balls as ammo. Naturally, from the back of the room, Adam was giving me the: "OMG YOU SILLY COW." look.
For some reason though - when she came back, and I'd fired about 25 paper balls around the room - she instantly knew it was me. Adam told me on MSN that I'd looked really guilty though - I'd gone bright red and hung my head. Well, I do remember pretending to read, lmao. Maybe I blushed more than what I thought. :)
Damn, I wish I wasn't so easy to read. :)
My moods have been fluctuating a lot recently - I've been going from feeling relativley sane and neutral to wanting to slit my throat in the space of five minutes. Thus, I've been in this lapsed mood where I just don't DO ANYTHING - just sit at my desk or lay on my bed and literally spend hours doing shite all.
So in order to make myself more productive - to stop myself wasting all this time, today I made myself a "TO DO" list. And I will say, it worked pretty well. :)
In the space of a few hours, I managed to redraft my personal statement, update three empty blogs, wrap up half of my Christmas presents (before the sellotape died a death, of course), I tidied up my room, filmed some filler clips for the Abigail film sequence, charged my iPod, charged some batteries and generally organised my life.
I watched an episode of Desparate Housewives with mam, ate some chicken sandwiches - then spent a few hours on the phone to Shelly - multi-tasking, as I wrote blogs and wrapped gifts at the same time.
Mam and I are going to watch I'm A Celebrity every night together. I'm only really wanting to watch it because Kim Woodburn is a fucking legend. :D
She's so funny, some of the random shite she comes out with. Sam Fox is hot too - and she's a lesbian. I instantly liked her for that one trait. :)
(And Adam did answer the Social Interview question of: 'what excites me?' with the answer: 'lesbians' - which made me instantly piss. :P)
[Blog #304] --- Depressed --- [Tuesday] - Meaningful Tuesday?
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There's one easy way to tell if a session with Dianne was meaningful: I'll end up crying.
I try so fucking hard to stop myself, this time I was bending my fingers and squeezing my wrists - but as I said to her, if I start, I don't end up stopping.
I spoke to her a little bit about "5 to 15" - I recollected a few events. Those that I didn't think were majorly important, or that I don't think would have affected me that much in the future - but Dianne seemed to think they were useful information.
I got my first draft of the film studies coursework back today - Sarah said it's A-grade standard, but the fact I missed out a few chunks of information in places, it's only a C/B. So I'll be adding to it shortly - she's told me I ought to get an A overall for the coursework. I hope so. I want an A for film studies, seeing as how I managed to get one in media studies last year too.
I sat on the 2nd floor of the LRC in my break between the session with Dianne and my English lesson. I listened to Spieluhr on repeat for a while, until it started getting on my nerves - then swapped to Silverstein and Blind Guardian. I updated the blogs I'd left blank for Tuesday and Wednesday and had a mooch about on some randomers' blogs.
I've always hated English since I came to college - loved it before I came here, then it suddenly just got shit. I despise it even more now that Adam has been put into D block with me. He sits with Siobhan - he was sort of adjacent to me on the tables today, I was in a shit mood and he kept saying random shite to make me smile. I did smile at some of them, but I didn't feel smiley inside. I feel uncomfortable in that room as it is with all the arseholes in there, but it's gotten worse now Adam's there too. Sigh.
Hannah pissed me off too. I was simply asking Angela what it was we were supposed to be making notes on, and she goes: "We did the phonology yesterday... YOU KNOW, THE STUDY OF SOUND?"
I just gave her my psycho glare and growled: "I KNOW WHAT FUCKING PHONOLOGY IS."
I'm surprised she didn't retaliate, she looked more surprised than offended at my response. Oh, I fucking hate her. She's always riles me because of her fucking ridiculous nasal-voice, but as soon as someone treats me like I lack intellect, they become hatred targets. Inconsiderate shit-sniffers!
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On the bus home, I was listening to Blind Guardian louder than I should have done - and this random old woman kept turning around and giving me weird looks. Fucking slag. You'd think sitting behind an aged person, they'd be too deaf to hear your music. I don't have it THAT loud!
It just sounds louder in small spaces, such as lifts... :)
I'm a proper arsehole in the bus station though - I was bounding off to catch up with the bus that was due to leave the bay - and there was this huddle of dirty chavs standing by the railings that just didn't want to move - so I just SHOULDERED one out of the way - the look she gave me was proper funny. I didn't even look at her, I just carried on, fueled by my full-blast Rammstein. :)
When I got in, I made myself some of those chicken & bacon motzarella wraps and ate them while I watched Spongebob Squarepants. Nickelodeon seriously couldn't time it better - it always seems to be on whenever I get in. I like watching cartoons after college, it re-fills my happy levels. My happy levels are usually always below centre, but they drop to negative figures when I'm at college. The shithole that it is.
Well, not the building or the tutors or even the lessons - it's the arseholes that are there.
I went upstairs, set up my Wii and I finished off Spyro: Enter The Dragonfly.
Good fucking riddance, that's one game I'm not re-playing in a hurry. Thankfully, it was only £3.50, so I didn't waste that much on it. It's not a TERRIBLE game, but compared to the other Spyro games, it just doesn't even compete. And they're on PS1 - this is a GC/PS2 game!
It's just the overall glitchiness that ruins it. All the disappearing floors, voice lags, control reversals, camera freezing and general jumping about makes it a chore. It's also WAY too easy. Having different breath attacks instead of power-up portals is NOT Spyro! The time limits on the power-ups is what makes it fun!
And the lack of the locate gems feature doesn't make it harder - it just makes it goddamn tedious. And WHY do you collect DRAGONFLIES? Not eggs, not baby dragons - ach.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's wank though - GameFAQs reviewers all only give it 2/10 and 3/10.
I've completed all of the PS1 Spyros at least twice each, because they have excellent replay value - but as per fucking usual, as soon as a mint PS1 series gets ported to PS2, it FAILS.
It happened with Crash, it happened with Parappa The Rapper - it was obviously going to happen to Spyro. :(
Tee hee, bad game rant is over. :D
So, with that pile of crap removed from my to-be-completed games wallet and put back into the box at the bottom of the stack, not to be played again in a hurry - I replaced it with Resident Evil.
Now is the time for me to complete the scenario with Chris. Seeing as how Chris is supposed to be hard mode, I'm very surprised at how easy it is. I'm not sure if it's got to do with the fact I already know my way around due to completing it with Jill - but when I played her scenario, I must have died a good 10 times. I'm at the guardhouse currently and I've not died once. The snake didn't even hurt me, and Chris only gets a shitty shotgun, Forest's bazooka just doesn't seem to be present.
I still shit myself when Lisa Trevor came in the outside hut - even though I knew she was coming - she scares the shit out of me. She's what makes the Resi 1 re-make so much scarier. That and all the graphical touch-ups, crimson heads, insane puzzles, extra rooms and the general darker overtone and detailed environments.
I should stop talking about games, otherwise I'll just end up turning my blog into a games review. :)
Dixie currently feels:
Depressed
Depressed -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog #304
Meaningful Tuesday?
Meaningful Tuesday?
There's one easy way to tell if a session with Dianne was meaningful: I'll end up crying.
I try so fucking hard to stop myself, this time I was bending my fingers and squeezing my wrists - but as I said to her, if I start, I don't end up stopping.
I spoke to her a little bit about "5 to 15" - I recollected a few events. Those that I didn't think were majorly important, or that I don't think would have affected me that much in the future - but Dianne seemed to think they were useful information.
I got my first draft of the film studies coursework back today - Sarah said it's A-grade standard, but the fact I missed out a few chunks of information in places, it's only a C/B. So I'll be adding to it shortly - she's told me I ought to get an A overall for the coursework. I hope so. I want an A for film studies, seeing as how I managed to get one in media studies last year too.
I sat on the 2nd floor of the LRC in my break between the session with Dianne and my English lesson. I listened to Spieluhr on repeat for a while, until it started getting on my nerves - then swapped to Silverstein and Blind Guardian. I updated the blogs I'd left blank for Tuesday and Wednesday and had a mooch about on some randomers' blogs.
I've always hated English since I came to college - loved it before I came here, then it suddenly just got shit. I despise it even more now that Adam has been put into D block with me. He sits with Siobhan - he was sort of adjacent to me on the tables today, I was in a shit mood and he kept saying random shite to make me smile. I did smile at some of them, but I didn't feel smiley inside. I feel uncomfortable in that room as it is with all the arseholes in there, but it's gotten worse now Adam's there too. Sigh.
Hannah pissed me off too. I was simply asking Angela what it was we were supposed to be making notes on, and she goes: "We did the phonology yesterday... YOU KNOW, THE STUDY OF SOUND?"
I just gave her my psycho glare and growled: "I KNOW WHAT FUCKING PHONOLOGY IS."
I'm surprised she didn't retaliate, she looked more surprised than offended at my response. Oh, I fucking hate her. She's always riles me because of her fucking ridiculous nasal-voice, but as soon as someone treats me like I lack intellect, they become hatred targets. Inconsiderate shit-sniffers!
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On the bus home, I was listening to Blind Guardian louder than I should have done - and this random old woman kept turning around and giving me weird looks. Fucking slag. You'd think sitting behind an aged person, they'd be too deaf to hear your music. I don't have it THAT loud!
It just sounds louder in small spaces, such as lifts... :)
I'm a proper arsehole in the bus station though - I was bounding off to catch up with the bus that was due to leave the bay - and there was this huddle of dirty chavs standing by the railings that just didn't want to move - so I just SHOULDERED one out of the way - the look she gave me was proper funny. I didn't even look at her, I just carried on, fueled by my full-blast Rammstein. :)
When I got in, I made myself some of those chicken & bacon motzarella wraps and ate them while I watched Spongebob Squarepants. Nickelodeon seriously couldn't time it better - it always seems to be on whenever I get in. I like watching cartoons after college, it re-fills my happy levels. My happy levels are usually always below centre, but they drop to negative figures when I'm at college. The shithole that it is.
Well, not the building or the tutors or even the lessons - it's the arseholes that are there.
I went upstairs, set up my Wii and I finished off Spyro: Enter The Dragonfly.
Good fucking riddance, that's one game I'm not re-playing in a hurry. Thankfully, it was only £3.50, so I didn't waste that much on it. It's not a TERRIBLE game, but compared to the other Spyro games, it just doesn't even compete. And they're on PS1 - this is a GC/PS2 game!
It's just the overall glitchiness that ruins it. All the disappearing floors, voice lags, control reversals, camera freezing and general jumping about makes it a chore. It's also WAY too easy. Having different breath attacks instead of power-up portals is NOT Spyro! The time limits on the power-ups is what makes it fun!
And the lack of the locate gems feature doesn't make it harder - it just makes it goddamn tedious. And WHY do you collect DRAGONFLIES? Not eggs, not baby dragons - ach.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's wank though - GameFAQs reviewers all only give it 2/10 and 3/10.
I've completed all of the PS1 Spyros at least twice each, because they have excellent replay value - but as per fucking usual, as soon as a mint PS1 series gets ported to PS2, it FAILS.
It happened with Crash, it happened with Parappa The Rapper - it was obviously going to happen to Spyro. :(
Tee hee, bad game rant is over. :D
So, with that pile of crap removed from my to-be-completed games wallet and put back into the box at the bottom of the stack, not to be played again in a hurry - I replaced it with Resident Evil.
Now is the time for me to complete the scenario with Chris. Seeing as how Chris is supposed to be hard mode, I'm very surprised at how easy it is. I'm not sure if it's got to do with the fact I already know my way around due to completing it with Jill - but when I played her scenario, I must have died a good 10 times. I'm at the guardhouse currently and I've not died once. The snake didn't even hurt me, and Chris only gets a shitty shotgun, Forest's bazooka just doesn't seem to be present.
I still shit myself when Lisa Trevor came in the outside hut - even though I knew she was coming - she scares the shit out of me. She's what makes the Resi 1 re-make so much scarier. That and all the graphical touch-ups, crimson heads, insane puzzles, extra rooms and the general darker overtone and detailed environments.
I should stop talking about games, otherwise I'll just end up turning my blog into a games review. :)
Misc
well, its been awhile again...I haven't been myself since July-August probably and I didn't feel like writing any.
The Dixie Classic Fair was fun though,but I got very tired that day.. That it how its been . I get so tired doing anything and stomach problems too. I was glad when my Doctor appointment finally arrived over a week ago now. All my blood work came back with great results. No thyroid problems or Liver problems and I'm not perimenopausal either... Cholesterol levels were great as were blood count, etc.. so, Dr. said it sounded like depression. All the stress from this year...Yes, worry is a sin..I don't handle it very well and I give it to God, but I always manage to pull it back..Not what you're supposed to do...so now I'm back on my Zoloft after being off it for well over two years..Starting to feel like me again. Last friday at the West/Reynolds game I had the best time. My friend I haven't seen in a long while, Trace' Cave Cunduff came. and wonders of all we saw John Sherrill too! We haven't seen him in years! Long years! LOL He has not changed a bit! He's still John! haha.. we had a great time picking and carrying on..just like the old days again! I knew I was gonna be okay then..
I can almost pinpoint a time when I really felt lowest...The day we got that Certified letter from our mortgage co..I had to sign for it and my heart sank...I prayed so hard while opening that letter, and called James crying my eyes out...That was hard, as I have written before. I just kept praying though, and I knew God would answer in His time, but I was being honest with Him and asking Him to hurry up. :) Not what you're supposed to do either, but He knows me and we are all human and live in this imperfect world.
Meanwhile its been getting cooler and having crisp nights. There have been some Indian Summer days though. I was able to not turn our heat on for almost 2 whole weeks.
Then Monday came. I was working at home on Quickbooks trying to get it straight for Biogreen. I get a call and answer it. It's Lynn. She's been helping us deal with our mortgage co..She said"They are sending you a package out Fed Ex and you should get it tomorrow.. Your interest rate dropped to 6.375% and your new payments are like $848.00"... My skin started prickling and I cried... I felt relief wash over me.. She didnt know the rest of the details..we'd find out from the letter.. I stayed home again on Tuesday and worked on Quickbooks again,finishing it....James came home for lunch like he always does...I see the Fed Ex truck back into the driveway... James goes to meet him and signs for the letter... we sit together and open it. I read it...
"James, it says that this is for the next 365 months!" Oh my! Here come the pricklings again!!! We look at each other.. "So this is the new payment for the rest of the loan?" "Yes!!" Hallaluha!! after trying 3 times with them to get this Loan Mod, we get it and it's great! we didnt know if it would be just 6 months as most are or a year, but the life of the Loan!! That was such a blessing !!! A burden lifted!! I thanked God all the rest of that day and still am....
another prayer was answered too on Tuesday. Ariana was able to trade her Jeep and her $2500 for a 2002 Saturn! It only had about 75000 miles on it. Her jeep broke down over a week ago and it was a pain trying to get her to College and picked up and to work and me to work.... it was a mess but we did it.. and she had to buy the $84 dollar part and Jeff fixed the jeep for her, but it still needed a battery...she'd go somewhere and have to get a jump to start it... Not good..plus it was eating gas and ate oil like crazy too. She had to put 3 quarts in every two weeks or so.. she did cry though...The jeep was her first car... She didn't really want to give it up, but she knew it was for the best. Now she 'll have a good car when she goes to UNCC in a year or so..
and Morgan. He had to buy a new car too. Late September his old car starting acting up and stalling out on him, so James looked around here and found him a "97 Grand Am with only about 65000 miles on it.. and Morgan could afford it. he just had to borrow $1300 from Grandma to do it and he'll pay her back in Jan. when he gets his financial aid $ again. It cost him $2800.00. Both of the kids cars are white now! That is odd! I wont know who is who until I can see the whole car coming in!! LOL
So many blessings this week..... I am feeling better on my medicine and getting things done now that got neglected over the summer...Whew..now on to the next problem..figuring out how to pay our taxes of $1800.00!!! since we inherited that 7 acres of land, our property taxes went up...big time!!
We signed the papers from the Mortgage co. and Fed ex'd them back all on the same day...we should hear soon about when payment is due and all that...
There's still the matter of Christmas too. I told James we could not afford to buy for everyone this year... We will get the small ones something, and try to figure out how and what to do for Morgan and Ariana... I just want us to be together...I don't need one thing! After all what is Christmas all about anyway? -The Birth of our Lord and Saviour!!!! When you realize that, nothing else matters. Enjoy the season of Love!
Thanksgiving coming soon! Time to Thank the Lord for all our blessings! But we should thank Him on a daily basis... He does so much for us..look for the small things and the big things..There's always something! I remind myself of that daily...
The Dixie Classic Fair was fun though,but I got very tired that day.. That it how its been . I get so tired doing anything and stomach problems too. I was glad when my Doctor appointment finally arrived over a week ago now. All my blood work came back with great results. No thyroid problems or Liver problems and I'm not perimenopausal either... Cholesterol levels were great as were blood count, etc.. so, Dr. said it sounded like depression. All the stress from this year...Yes, worry is a sin..I don't handle it very well and I give it to God, but I always manage to pull it back..Not what you're supposed to do...so now I'm back on my Zoloft after being off it for well over two years..Starting to feel like me again. Last friday at the West/Reynolds game I had the best time. My friend I haven't seen in a long while, Trace' Cave Cunduff came. and wonders of all we saw John Sherrill too! We haven't seen him in years! Long years! LOL He has not changed a bit! He's still John! haha.. we had a great time picking and carrying on..just like the old days again! I knew I was gonna be okay then..
I can almost pinpoint a time when I really felt lowest...The day we got that Certified letter from our mortgage co..I had to sign for it and my heart sank...I prayed so hard while opening that letter, and called James crying my eyes out...That was hard, as I have written before. I just kept praying though, and I knew God would answer in His time, but I was being honest with Him and asking Him to hurry up. :) Not what you're supposed to do either, but He knows me and we are all human and live in this imperfect world.
Meanwhile its been getting cooler and having crisp nights. There have been some Indian Summer days though. I was able to not turn our heat on for almost 2 whole weeks.
Then Monday came. I was working at home on Quickbooks trying to get it straight for Biogreen. I get a call and answer it. It's Lynn. She's been helping us deal with our mortgage co..She said"They are sending you a package out Fed Ex and you should get it tomorrow.. Your interest rate dropped to 6.375% and your new payments are like $848.00"... My skin started prickling and I cried... I felt relief wash over me.. She didnt know the rest of the details..we'd find out from the letter.. I stayed home again on Tuesday and worked on Quickbooks again,finishing it....James came home for lunch like he always does...I see the Fed Ex truck back into the driveway... James goes to meet him and signs for the letter... we sit together and open it. I read it...
"James, it says that this is for the next 365 months!" Oh my! Here come the pricklings again!!! We look at each other.. "So this is the new payment for the rest of the loan?" "Yes!!" Hallaluha!! after trying 3 times with them to get this Loan Mod, we get it and it's great! we didnt know if it would be just 6 months as most are or a year, but the life of the Loan!! That was such a blessing !!! A burden lifted!! I thanked God all the rest of that day and still am....
another prayer was answered too on Tuesday. Ariana was able to trade her Jeep and her $2500 for a 2002 Saturn! It only had about 75000 miles on it. Her jeep broke down over a week ago and it was a pain trying to get her to College and picked up and to work and me to work.... it was a mess but we did it.. and she had to buy the $84 dollar part and Jeff fixed the jeep for her, but it still needed a battery...she'd go somewhere and have to get a jump to start it... Not good..plus it was eating gas and ate oil like crazy too. She had to put 3 quarts in every two weeks or so.. she did cry though...The jeep was her first car... She didn't really want to give it up, but she knew it was for the best. Now she 'll have a good car when she goes to UNCC in a year or so..
and Morgan. He had to buy a new car too. Late September his old car starting acting up and stalling out on him, so James looked around here and found him a "97 Grand Am with only about 65000 miles on it.. and Morgan could afford it. he just had to borrow $1300 from Grandma to do it and he'll pay her back in Jan. when he gets his financial aid $ again. It cost him $2800.00. Both of the kids cars are white now! That is odd! I wont know who is who until I can see the whole car coming in!! LOL
So many blessings this week..... I am feeling better on my medicine and getting things done now that got neglected over the summer...Whew..now on to the next problem..figuring out how to pay our taxes of $1800.00!!! since we inherited that 7 acres of land, our property taxes went up...big time!!
We signed the papers from the Mortgage co. and Fed ex'd them back all on the same day...we should hear soon about when payment is due and all that...
There's still the matter of Christmas too. I told James we could not afford to buy for everyone this year... We will get the small ones something, and try to figure out how and what to do for Morgan and Ariana... I just want us to be together...I don't need one thing! After all what is Christmas all about anyway? -The Birth of our Lord and Saviour!!!! When you realize that, nothing else matters. Enjoy the season of Love!
Thanksgiving coming soon! Time to Thank the Lord for all our blessings! But we should thank Him on a daily basis... He does so much for us..look for the small things and the big things..There's always something! I remind myself of that daily...
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Re: I'm Thankful for my Family - Thanks, I think it worked!
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