Church @ MindSay

i have to write a 10-minute speech about myself and my life. i don't really like myself, so i don't know how this will go. and it's for a church event so i have to tie in God. and i can't swear or anything.it's to encourage other kids to open up to their other group members. since i'm the quietest person in the universe, i have no idea why i was assigned to do this. the youth group leader said that hearing me speak about my life would help other people feel safe to share their stories, because my story is so "tragic". no idea why she used that word.

by the way, i go to church.

It wasn't the churches fault,

but my first trip back to church in 4 years'left me feeling Like I had.....

 

jogged in the hot sun and crawled into a mouldy casket

to try and cool down...

 

the place that  had once meant hope and sunshine to me..

the congregation onmce filled with hopeful laughing children

had about as much life as as..

 

the way I felt about my love life..

no families

no children

I was the youngest there and I am a grandpa..

 

instead of drums, guitars

there was nothing but the dreadful organ

the grand flatulant  instrument..

 

I escaped before even a note was played

and snuck out the back door

just as a mother who hgad been physically violent in her child raising years

went in the front door..

 

now she seems only eschatalogically violent..or was the violence my desire to escape...

 

I tried my dear L.....

You said I needed to come here again

it would be the only place I might find friends...

 

The words of Bruce Cockburn come to mind

"Open up the doors and

let the bad air out..."

 

There is bad air in there

and I am the source of some of it...

 

( 4 years since I had been to church,

20 years since preaching my last sermon

28 years from discarding the collar and cloth)

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Last night's epic dream:

My dream started out with Ash and myself walking around what was apparently Hemlington - but it certainly didn't look like it. It looked very similar to that of Ambleside town. We wandered around for a while, then went back to Ash's bungalow.
When we returned, Ash says to me: "Didn't you notice that shop at the end of the avenue? You'd proper like it."
I responded: "No, I didn't see any shop..."
Ash says: "Oh, it was a wheelchair shop."
I say: "Well why would I like that?"
Ash replies: "Because they had a sign up outside saying they were closing down and all stock was reduced..." -she puts up three fingers - "To THREE QUID!"
I proper had a spazzy fit and shouted: "OMG, LET'S GO BACK THEN!"
Ash goes: "No way, you're not getting one. Why would you want one? To trick people into thinking you're crippled?"
I say: "No! For artistic things, films, photos - the like."
Ash says: "Well you could borrow mine for that."
I scream at her: "NOOOO!!! I WANT A FOLDING ONE!!!"
I ended up having a proper tantrum fit, and this resulted in both of Ash's parents and a shitload of randomers all shouting at me.

Following this, I was sat on the floor in their living room - everyone and these randomers were all sat around on the sofas watching films and talking PROPER loud. I was playing on a GBA with headphones in so I didn't have to listen to them.
Then we all ended up going out to some random church hall where everyone was sat around on wooden tables, listening to this random bible-bashing woman having a proper orgasmic rant about the power of Jesus and Christianity. Whenever anybody yawned or somehow looked distracted, she'd run up to their table and yell things at them about them going to hell and they'd be eternally damned.

I started daydreaming and gazing out of the window.
This woman runs up to my table and shouts: "WHAT'RE YOU LOOKING AT?! YOU SHOULD BE READING YOUR BIBLE!!"
I shake my head at her and calmly respond: "It's because of over-enthusiastic, Jesus-fucking bible-bashers that people can't decide their own path in life anymore. Stop wasting your time trying to convert atheists. We'll all go to hell with you and sodomise you with pitchforks."

Then this woman proper bursts into tears and runs out crying and everyone in the hall proper started cheering.
Ash looks at me proper shocked and says: "How the hell do you get people to agree with you?! I can proper never do it!"

Following this, nobody seemed to move from the tables, but instead everyone took out GBAs and started playing this random game where you had to swim underwater as a shark and collect sunken pirate ships.
I beat everybody at it on the first round, but the scores for the second round weren't revealed and that we had to wait until tomorrow to get them.

I woke up laid on the floor of a bus - next to the bus driver, a random gadge sat on a seat beside me and a pile of my shoes next to me.
The gadge said I could only save two pairs, so I put a pair of black Converse on and picked up a pair that were identical to the new pair I got the other week. The black, white and red patterned ones.
I asked him when the bus was going to stop, and the driver responded that it wasn't going to.

So the random gadge and I started ramming our shoulders against the bus doors until they burst open. Then we both leapt out and did like an epic-slow-motion dive out across the road and we landed on a patch of grass infront of Ash's house.
(Which is odd, because there isn't grass infront of Ash's house, it's paved.)

Ash comes out and she starts whinging on at me.
I yell at her: "OMG YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE MY EPIC DIVE OUT OF THE BUS! YOU FUCKING CUNT, I'M NOT DOING IT AGAIN FOR YOU!!!"
Then she shakes her head and says that I scored 125 points in the pirate ship GBA game and the gadge behind me scored 180.

I proper fell to my knees and started screaming - before I woke up, wondering what the bloody hell that dream was about. :)

After 15....yes, 15 hours of deliberation, we have a verdict!!!  At around 3:30 pm this afternoon, the jury in the case against Dale Neumann came back with a verdict.  Finally.  I was seriously afraid that it would be a hung jury and it would start all over again with a new jury.  But, no, the jury finally was able to come to a consensus.

 

And a GOOD one at that.  We the jury, find Dale Neumann.....an idiot.  No, unfortunately that's not against the law, even though it should be.  He was found GUILTY of second degree reckless homicide, in the death of his 11 year old daughter!!  :D  <---- smiles at the verdict, not the death of his daughter.  I didn't celebrate as loudly as I did when his wife was convicted because I feel like ass today, but I still am thrilled with the verdict.

 

When the guilty verdict was read, he showed NO emotion.  What does that tell you?  A gag order is still in effect, meaning that no one from the prosecutors office, defense attorney, Dale Neumann himself, are allowed to comment.  But, as he left the courtroom, Neumann was heard humming a song and seen carrying his Bible.  Sentencing is in October at the same time as his wife's.  They both are out on bail right now and will continue to be.

 

Apparently because of these two trials, the county's budget is in the red and will need to dip into an emergency fund.  The county taxpayers paid $30k for attorney and jury expenses before Dale Neumann's verdict was read, and the Clerk of Courts says that they would likely end up contributing to the emergency fund as well.  And, when you think about it, the taxpayers are also paying for both Neumann's prison time.  We're bending over and taking it in the ass for them killing their daughter.  Doesn't seem like true justice, does it?

 

You can read more or watch video at WSAW.com.

Hi to all of my friends
It has been a while, so I think I will do a few bullets to tell you all what is going on in the Marran household.

• I have been in the house, only going out one time, since May eleventh when I had my surgery. I have been bored and restless some of the time, but it hasn't been that bad, really, since I am basically a loner for the most part, most of the time. Thankfully, my surgical scar has finally healed up, although is not a pretty sight to behold...ick. But I am excited about being able to get back to church tomorrow to celebrate Father's day with my husband.  I am even a bit nervous to go back and play the piano since it has been so long. But I know it will be just fine; I have chosen songs that I am familiar with, so it has to be! 
• My husband flew to Kentucky and brought my daughter, Liza-Anne to Utah in her little car, which made it very well. He says that it is a trusty little thing, thank the Lord.  Was great to see her and is going to be so great having her live within about thirty minutes from me.  She is to be married on July 11th, and of course, the nerves and the excitement are mounting!  We have some very competent ladies at church who are taking care of most of the details, so that is a load off of my shoulders.  I still have to get my dress and do a few things, but it's mostly under control.  God was so great to her though that it is actually staggering.  She had been a little back slidden and had made her way to the altar to renew her commitment to Christ, just a while back, about November or so, and then she came to Utah in December and met our pastor's son.  We had been praying for a Godly man for her and who was to know that we would move all this way away from Kentucky and that she would come to visit us and meet the man of her dreams?  He is our pastor's son, and we are thrilled that they are going to be a part of our family.
• But what is so great is that Liza got here on Monday night, and by the end of the same week, she had a job with Cracker Barrel, for whom she had worked in Kentucky while she was in College. This will tide her over until she finds a teaching job for the new school year. But also, within days, the couple had rented the house of their choice, the very first one they looked at...and their credit just panned out and everything...even with the landlord willing to take a cut in the rent payments.  And now, she is already going for an interview with a charter school, on Monday, to teach fifth and sixth grade Science.  God definitely takes care of his own. I would appreciate your prayers that she will get this post if it is God's will, since she likes the idea of teaching in an elementary setting, rather than middle or high school.
  
• I am also getting excited because my other two children and my daughter in law are going to be here for the wedding. It will be chaotic, but Bobbie will be staying a few days after, so it will be so great getting to visit with her again. I haven't seen them since Royden, my son's wedding in October. He and his wife have to go back on Sunday, right after the wedding because she takes care of her church's music, but at least we will have them here three days or so.
  
• Love you all; I think that is about all I have on my mind right now.