Bored @ MindSay

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Thankfully I didn't have another fucking argument with Shelly today.
No, we were both relativley calm - did our usual act of not doing anything in Photography. Paul is such an arsehole.
We walked into town during our beasty break and Shelly persuaded me to buy a BLT sandwich from Greggs. I wanted to get one from college, but as per usual - when I want one, they don't have one.
They're pretty good though. I'm starting to think I actually do like mayo - just not Helmann's. I like the mayo from Greedy Joe's, I like the mayo from college and now I seem to like the mayo from Greggs. It clearly isn't Helmann's then. :)

Short blog yes - but everyone has days where there's fuck all to talk about.

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I didn't even want to see Shelly and Ashleigh today.
I told Shelly this last night, but she half-persuaded me to see them. She said if I was depressed and lonely, I'd only get worse. I did say to her that sometimes I lapse further even when I'm with people I like.

Although for the majority of the day, I've been wearing my mask - I've felt shit inside.
Shelly came at fucking nine in the morning - waking me and my mother up in the process. She laid in bed with me while I tried to wake up properly. She did try it on with me - but I was far from in the mood.
A few hours later she did persuade me, but I didn't enjoy it. It made me feel worse. I shouldn't ever let her when I feel that fucking shit.

Mam went off to ASDA, after she'd asked me to make her a list - but THIS was after she'd had a big fuck off go at me for barely anything. All I did was say that dad was a knob - which he fucking is, and she even agrees with me 99.99% of the fucking time - but nooo, the 0.01% of the time she doesn't agree with me was today - and she decided to have a rant at me about fucking nothing.
At the time, I was holding one of my zebra grip pens - the same ones I've used to cut myself in exams and when I punched Ash - by snapping off the metal clip, exposing the sharp join to the plastic - so on my way back upstairs, I did two vertical slices down my left arm.
I managed to keep my tears back - Shelly held me in her arms while I tried to calm down. I did write the list, but I didn't want to face the cunt again so I sent her down with it.

Ash came at half 12 and we played Guitar Hero 5.
Mam was gone for fucking hours, so we got to play on the drums without being ranted at. I managed to get a few diamond ranks on the challenges. Expert + is ever so fun.
Then we swapped to GH: Greatest Hits - Ash wanted to go on drums, so Shelly stayed on guitar and I went on vocals. We each picked two songs - Shelly picked Electric Eye and Bark At The Moon, Ash picked Heart-Shaped Box and Beast And The Harlot and I picked Caught In A Mosh and Play With Me - and only one of those six songs is of a moderate difficulty - the other five are all well high in the setlist.
I do know the majority of the songs on GH:GH though - and the ones I don't know, I could take a good guess at.

When mam came back, we expected her to have a rant at Ash - but instead, she came bearing the top hat that Mally had said he'd lend me for Spieluhr and a MUSIC BOX. :D
Well, it's a jewellery box, but it does have a winding key and a spinning figure inside. Well... It DID have - but it's broken off. The tripod inside does still spin - so using a piece of putty rubber, I've fixed the little cat off my old charm necklace to it - and it makes a pretty cool replacement.
The box made me feel all nostalgic though - I remembered playing with it when I was little. :/

Ash of course, just HAD to try on the top hat:



Shelly and I ate some hot dogs - Ash declined them, as she was set to be having a big meal when she went home.
We must've spent like an hour deciding on what we were going to do. Seriously, we ought to plan Saturdays in fucking advance, we must waste at least 1/6 of the day pondering what we're going to fucking do.
I showed Ash one of my ideas for an RCP video - via the screening of Sally's First Movie - a badly animated video I made when I was like 15. I was ever so surprised when both Ash and Shelly were amused by it.
Following this, I let them have the run of my condemned files on Mr. Maxtor - I let them watch some random videos of me at this tender age. Sigh. Shelly said I was cute. I fucking wasn't, I was the biggest cunt ever at 15.
I'm not a cunt now, I'm just a twat. I seem to have improved.

Eventually - we decided on Evil Dead: A Fistful Of Boomstick.
It was so cool - Shelly and I were cuddled up under my duvet and Ash was sat on the end of the bed. I'm glad they both don't mind watching me play games, for I am one of these people who enjoys being watched. Ash and I were in fits at the orgasmic secretary - the one who sounds proper pleasured every time she exclaims the character's name.

"OH ASH... SAY SOMETHING HEROIC!"

I've now finished off the second level and I've saved it around halfway through the third one.
Shelly fell asleep on me at one point - and I could only put up with her snoring for 10 minutes before we made her wake up.
Of course, I also felt obliged to show them both some hilarious FMV movies from Leisure Suit Larry. Shelly was more amused than Ash - but I think they were both generally disturbed by the Harriet X Twiggy scene. :)

Ash sodded off at seven, so Shelly and I got some time alone again.
Shelly loves me - she's done that what she said she hates doing - and I fucking love it. I can't wait till after Christmas, then I'll join her in doing it also.
For tea, I made us chicken fingers and spaghetti. I had a random craving for them so I put them on mam's shopping list. I ate my spaghetti cold with three slices of bread, Shelly's was warm and she had two slices.

At 9:20, I went downstairs with Shelly and watched I'm A Celebrity with mam and dad. Today's episode was fucking hilarious like. I didn't realise watching someone force down fish eyeballs and bork several times could be so damn funny. Mam took her home afterwards.

I wanted to fucking do our RCP introductory video today as well. They both fucking knew I did - but NOOOO...

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I had a rethink about The Overseer costume. I've had a brainwave.
Who else wears a top hat and a suit jacket? Instead of wearing sunglasses, why not wear corpse paint like King Diamond? :)



I actually do think it would look pretty mint. Shelly agreed with me when she rang me.
Why she fucking rang me, I don't know - has she not spent enough time with me today, Christ's sake. Can I not have a fucking moment of peace.

With that being said, it wasn't just Shelly being annoying - we had Adam, ranting ten to the dozen about Matty - and we all know I don't give two flying fucks about him - so I danced around the point, only answering the comments I wanted to. Adam didn't bother me that much though - he didn't fucking upset me like Lewis did.
Problem with him is though, he doesn't fucking realise when he's actually upsetting me. I NEVER want to fucking discuss university, UCAS or anything fucking related - so when he's on a fucking rant about it, I'm obviously not going to be happy about it.
Then the fucking arsehole has the nerve to tell me to grow up and he doesn't understand my problems. Well who the fuck cares? I don't want him to fucking understand - did I tell him to? Did I say I wanted him to? He doesn't fucking NEED TO. And when I'm answering someone with ONE WORD ANSWERS, that clearly fucking means I don't want to talk about whatever they're discussing.
And from fucking university to then talking about the bastard film sequence - WHICH HE KNOWS I don't want to assemble or even THINK about - so that got me even more upset.

I'm fucking lapsed out to fuck at the moment - I have been for the past few days, since around fucking Thursday. There's only one thing that can lift me from it, and it's not going to happen - so I'm soon to abandon all hopes of ever getting out of this one easily.

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It's a good thing I didn't really have anything major that was bothering me this week. Well, there was the one thing that arose in Film Studies this morning.
Tuesdays are now assigned to be coursework lessons - so we were in the ICT suite on the 3rd floor, "doing coursework" - only I was attempting to do mine, but I had something stopping me.
I had all the clips I needed on my memory stick - they were all uploaded to the video editor fairly quickly - the same one I use at home - Windows Movie Maker, bog-standard, but it gets the job done. I had my script, I knew how I wanted it to look - I should have been all set to bung the clips together, save the project then edit all the sound at home with WavePad and dub it together.

But I think I'm scared of assembling it. I know there's some clips that haven't worked quite as well. I knew that there would be some jumpiness between certain clips - hence the reason I filmed some "filler clips" - just close-ups of objects and surroundings to break the flow and ease the jump from clip to clip - I did make some form of effort to sort it out. But I just know it's not going to turn out as I'd hoped. Fair enough, the trailer didn't, The Wheelchair didn't. When I wrote Regenbogen Strifen - that didn't.

And the problem is, I'm not even sure WHY I'm so scared of assembling it. :/

I would have told Dianne about this in our session - but it was cancelled.
I worked it out after sitting on the stairs by the room for 15 minutes - then giving up.
She'd actually sent me a text - but I only realised this when I got home and read it.

I told Sarah too - but she said I should just bite the bullet and assemble it.
I did tell her about my Plan B - if it went TOTALLY tits-up and wouldn't get anywhere near a decent grade - I'd take film stills and do the digital storyboard option. But that isn't the point - I shouldn't HAVE TO - I wanted to do the fucking FILM OPTION!

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Mondays are always a chore at college.
I did a little bit of research in media studies - but on the whole, wasted most of the lesson. I'm getting so impatient... I want to get on and film Spieluhr! Hello...? MUSICBOXPLZKTHX.

English had its moment: Angela sodded off for half the lesson to go to a "meeting" - so I amused myself with my stationery slingshot - two pens, a long elastic band, some modelling clay and bits of rubber or paper balls as ammo. Naturally, from the back of the room, Adam was giving me the: "OMG YOU SILLY COW." look.
For some reason though - when she came back, and I'd fired about 25 paper balls around the room - she instantly knew it was me. Adam told me on MSN that I'd looked really guilty though - I'd gone bright red and hung my head. Well, I do remember pretending to read, lmao. Maybe I blushed more than what I thought. :)

Damn, I wish I wasn't so easy to read. :)

My moods have been fluctuating a lot recently - I've been going from feeling relativley sane and neutral to wanting to slit my throat in the space of five minutes. Thus, I've been in this lapsed mood where I just don't DO ANYTHING - just sit at my desk or lay on my bed and literally spend hours doing shite all.
So in order to make myself more productive - to stop myself wasting all this time, today I made myself a "TO DO" list. And I will say, it worked pretty well. :)

In the space of a few hours, I managed to redraft my personal statement, update three empty blogs, wrap up half of my Christmas presents (before the sellotape died a death, of course), I tidied up my room, filmed some filler clips for the Abigail film sequence, charged my iPod, charged some batteries and generally organised my life.

I watched an episode of Desparate Housewives with mam, ate some chicken sandwiches - then spent a few hours on the phone to Shelly - multi-tasking, as I wrote blogs and wrapped gifts at the same time.

Mam and I are going to watch I'm A Celebrity every night together. I'm only really wanting to watch it because Kim Woodburn is a fucking legend. :D
She's so funny, some of the random shite she comes out with. Sam Fox is hot too - and she's a lesbian. I instantly liked her for that one trait. :)

(And Adam did answer the Social Interview question of: 'what excites me?' with the answer: 'lesbians' - which made me instantly piss. :P)

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Lmao, how awkward is it trying to play Leisuire Suit Larry when your nana and grandad are wandering around?
I've had to play the game with the fucking remote within reach - even so I could just flick onto a different channel during the naughty loading screens with the real-life models exposing their breasts. :D

I've completed it today - though I'm stuck at about 98%, now needing to proper hoarde secret tokens so I can buy the last two secrets, one from the Porn Fairy and one from Uncle Larry - but in effect, I need about 300 tokens and I only have around 35 - that means re-doing the majority of the story sequences with perfects. Wonderful. Button sequences and chat lines all over again. I doubt I'll be able to perfect some of the dodgy trampoline mini-games. Gahhh... If only I hadn't wasted so many of them.
I can mark the game down as BEATEN, but I'd rather have the shiny gold COMPLETE.

...Hmmm... To print a secret token checklist... To restart the game?
Dixie is wondering... I love it - so would it hurt to replay? It's only an 8-hour game, after all.
But saying that, I do have the mountain of un-played games.

Ian and Lisa came to nana's after they'd been to a car boot sale - they'd been selling off some of their stuff. Ian was pleased with himself, having sold a stack of wrestling magazines for £4.
They'd looked for a music box for me - and once more, to no avail - eBay is calling me... :/

Nana provided me with peanuts and Rolos and she sat and played Solitaire. When she was in the room, I couldn't really play Leisuire Suit Larry, so I gave Evil Dead another chance.

Note to self: ALWAYS USE YOUR GODDAMNED BRAIN WHEN PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.
If the FIRST level of Evil Dead has a stupid puzzle, imagine what the later ones will have.