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MindSay was a popular blogging site around 2003 - 2006. MindSay is preparing to relaunch itself this year, in 2016.

MindSay's mission is to enable the writer within ourselves.

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Brain I remembered more abuse yesterday. It's like once I was marked everybody had their turn with me.…
 Have a Bear x 4Have a Bear x 4Have a Bear x 4Have a Bear x 4Love x 3Love x 3Love x 3
17 hrs ago / @dustball +
You'll say we've got nothing in common No common ground to start from, And we're falling…
 I like this x 1Have a Bear x 1Cool beans x 1LOL x 1Eye Roll x 1OMG x 1Good idea x 1Sad Panda x 1I don’t even x 1Love x 1
5 hrs ago / @Foundinthemusic +
Election Go ahead. Elect Hillary. You’ll only be putting us at severe risk of war with Russia.…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2Have a Bear x 1
15 hrs ago / @jakerad +
(no subject)

I had been off site and training for 2 weeks.


Thanks, life, for the reminder that I cannot handle a soul sucking desk job. I'm more hands on than I realized.


I'm back to being the “resident vampire” in the basement at the shelter. I work in the dark and started listening to opera at my desk to drown out my next door neighbor, the foul mouthed cook. I can appreciate a few well chosen bad words, but walking in every morning to hear a 60 year old woman cackling “I fucking hate this place,” really drains the psyche.


I had my first supervision in weeks, too, and my boss loved all the work i did. I took on a few projects of my own and hoped they'd be welcomed; they were. I designed a new evaluation form for the residents I will be working with that is very thorough and constantly updated with new goals. The most important part of this form was that I found a way to document and justify the work I will be doing, so when it comes time for Grant reevaluation, i will have proof of my work. 


My boss is having me do a lot of managerial duties so i do hope this is the job that gives me the opportunity to get tthe experience i need.


I'm also volunteering with Proud Haven, the lgbt shelter that is opening up. I've been in contact with their board of directors to help interpret funding laws and I'm working with them on developing the program. They have a great vision and I'm excited to be a part of it.


Oliver is doing so well in daycare. He is learning so much and I am really happy with the choice we made. 


5 hrs ago / @cas +
(no subject) Feeling better since I've been doing my actual job. That's a relief.
 I like this x 1Have a Bear x 1Love x 1
23 hrs ago / @cas +
When it rains... pours. We’ve had a very dry summer in the Endless Mountains. It made putting…
 I like this x 1
12 hrs ago / @saikotikgunman +
MindSay Operations Intern I am looking to add another person that has the technical know-how to operate…
 I like this x 1
13 hrs ago / @dustball +
sorry last post today, I promise (unless something weird happens). This…
 I like this x 1I don’t even x 1
21 hrs ago / @palaceofperseph +
Pot Pie

We're getting a ‘pot pie soup’ at work next month. Hearing about this today led me to decide I would spend my Friday night making my first pot pie. So I went out and bought all the ingredients I needed, and the dough! I’ve never made a pie of any sort before, never worked with dough except to made bread one time and as a child when I used to mix water and flour and make a mess for fun.


In the pan it tasted really good. But I put it in the oven about 20 minutes ago and it started spilling over. I forgot to put a larger pan underneath the 8x8 inch pan that the pot pie is actually in, per the recipe’s instructions, so the filling starts spilling all over onto the bottom of my oven. I anxiously keep checking it, hoping htere’s not a fire starting up in there.


My freaking oven doesn’t have a glass window on the front so I can’t see in from the outside! When I was younger I used to think that the reason for those doors is so you can see how tasty and delicious your food was becoming while it cooks. Because that’s what I used it for as a child. But now I realize it’s so you can see IF THERE’S A FUCKING FIRE IN YOUR OVEN. Which I can’t see. So eventually I decided to put the pan on top of another pan to prevent any further spillage. Shortly after I do this, lots of smoke starts coming up through my stovetop ranges. So I turned off the oven, opened up my whole apartment (it’s chilly outside, man!) and am waiting until the smoke stops.


I just checked it and the dough rose quite a bit. I just hope it’s cooked through. The filling is for sure cooked – it was cooked before I put it in the oven. But that dough better not be doughy.


anyway, I hope my first pot pie comes out good. It was very labor intensive to prep so I don’t think I’ll make it again anytime soon, even if it is good.


And this mostly sucks because I REALLY wanted to bake some cookies tonight too but now with the mess in the oven I have to let the oven cool before I can clean it then bake the cookies…. may be too much work.




Wine. World Cafe on NPR while cooking. Movie during dinner. I’m a content camper tonight.



 Love x 1
14 hrs ago / @divine +
Muffins! Muffins doesn’t enjoy having her picture taken as much as Leela, but I just can’t…
 Have a Bear x 1Eye Roll x 1Love x 3Love x 3Love x 3
yesterday / @deeterz +
Long Live Whatever Forever! Don’t hate me when I tell you that I diiid end up telling that boy that I…
 I like this x 1Cool beans x 1
19 hrs ago / @freakofnature +
(no subject) Not 100% sure how much more I can take. I cannot stand having my own failures constantly shoved in my own…
 Have a Bear x 1
19 hrs ago / @americancer +
First Woman President! We are probably getting her, by hook and by crook. I would actually vote for Jill…
 I like this x 1
yesterday / @palaceofperseph +
a harebrained, unbecoming pestilence
13 hrs ago / @videogames +
slug vs. hare sometimes you have those conversations that make you go huh?…. but they’re…
 Have a Bear x 1Good idea x 1
yesterday / @chri +
slug vs. hare

sometimes you have those conversations that make you go huh?….  but they’re actually very endearing.  


with 39 yr old man

“keep pulling, the rope needs to be taunt ...  “

“you mean taut?..”

 “no, taunt”


with 2 yr old nephew

“i wanna see the woorby tings.” (while looking out the window into the backyard.)

“what are woorby tings?”  

“no, i said WOORby tings.”

“ok what are they?”  

“woorby tings.”

“are they small big?  do they move? what color is it?


later on, the mom translates that the little guy was probably talking about the compost worms...that he’s fascinated with  (wormy things)


Ok, so speaking of worms.  Being a slug in the insect world might be what I’ve been feeling like.  The bees are busy making honey and buzzing  about.  The ants can carry a hundred times their own weight back to their own home.  But the slug takes a few days just to wake up and move.  

Nevermind the turtle at the race.  The slug just gave up halfway into the race and said, i was not created to race, it is not in my cards. so why bother being here.  its almost cruel to give any speck of hope to this slug.  the fiinishing line was not meant for you.  


laziness?  but i put in a lot of effort that its tiring me out.  misdirected effort ?  need to get away from myself


Going to be mentoring a disadvantaged child soon, at least have that to look forward to.  but dont know if the program directors will be ok with a child being mentored by someone who suffers from bad depression.  i have to make them aware of any mental disorders...  blah.  but i’m glad for the kids that there’s a screening process.  


 LOL x 1Eye Roll x 1I don’t even x 1
yesterday / @chri +
Insanity Off and on this weekend I’ll be recording an Insanity run of Mass Effect 2. For…
16 hrs ago / @videogames +
ok so instead of posting zombie photos I just binge watched walking dead. so so dark. love…
 I like this x 1
yesterday / @dustball +
I hate trump But can I just point out a little irony.. just a bit.. that we’re outraged that Russia…
 I like this x 1
yesterday / @cornholio23 +
Burning Say 2017? I enjoy camping. I have been camping in Black Rock Desert, NV, many times…
 Cool beans x 1Good idea x 1Love x 1
3 days ago / @dustball +
Peace of mind It feels like the thing everyone wants is peace of mind. Here’s hoping we…
 I like this x 1LOL x 2LOL x 2Love x 3Love x 3Love x 3
6 days ago / @dustball +
Dammit Dana I used to be a big fan of The Five on (yes) Fox. I fell into it because I really do think Greg…
 I like this x 1
yesterday / @palaceofperseph +
(no subject)

I have this problem. I don’t feel like I blog for myself. I have every intention of writing an entry to put my mind at ease, but more often than not I end up blogging with the hopes of others liking my content. I want people to like me and think that I’m funny and interesting and give a shit about what I post.

It gives me anxiety because I want to post but I don’t want it to be garbage, so I’ll write something and just delete it all. Ends up making this shit feel like something I want to do but can’t because I’m unable to do it well.

Also I’m constantly worried that anyone I knew 10+ years ago that has an account here is going to wonder, “Hmm, what ever happened to mindsay?” and log in and see my shit life. Including the boy I used to date in high school, who still happens to live NEXT DOOR.

I wish I could disappear into another name.


 I like this x 4I like this x 4I like this x 4I like this x 4Have a Bear x 1
5 days ago / @deadite +
From now on this shit is for me, not anyone else. Well I’m done being manic I think. Past day or two…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2Have a Bear x 1
4 days ago / @deadite +
NSFW x 100 Model : Asia Star Photographer : dustball This post contains pictures and text…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2Love x 1
4 days ago / @dustball +
*thwack* Since I've been focusing on work I haven't really been into sexual domination. I…
 I like this x 4I like this x 4I like this x 4I like this x 4Cool beans x 1
6 days ago / @cas +
Pain perceived is pain achieved. Every so often, someone on that other social media shares one of those…
 Love x 1
2 days ago / @saikotikgunman +
*Yes, Mistress :)*

I really tried to get into 50 shades. I wanted to love it. I wanted to finger fuck myself while turning the pages and get off to a mainstream dominant/submissive storyline that put all my vanilla relationships to shame. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to finger fuck yourself to 50 shadea of gray, it just wasn't for me. Not much IS for me, being in a dominant female role. The porn is largely aimed toward men (imagine that) and the most educated teachers of the “art of consensual nonconsent” can charge upwards $300 hourly. 


Thankfully, I've always been a very creative person. 


The first time I walked him home from the bar, i stuck my hands down the back of his pants and told him to be a good boy for me, highly anticipating the many ways I could learn to drive him crazy… what I didn't anticipate was how incredibly strong and empowered sexual control would make me feel. 


It became a part of my daily appetite...




 I like this x 2I like this x 2Love x 2Love x 2
5 days ago / @cas +
Zombie photos coming Since it’s the season … I helped out a friend with his card game, Z, he…
 Cool beans x 1
2 days ago / @dustball +
(no subject) I met the PGH chapter of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence last night while attending a meeting for the…
 Cool beans x 1
3 days ago / @cas +
(no subject) Every time my neighbor leaves the house she leaves her front door ajar. It drives me nuts. She went away…
yesterday / @divine +
(no subject) Just a few minutes ago, as I was getting ready for bed, Alex tickled me. I am hella ticklish, so I HATE…
 LOL x 1
3 days ago / @deeterz +

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