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Free food

I cook food when I invite people over.

"Come over and I'll make your favorite potato soup!"

And I even made a dairy free version for their lactose intolerant kid.

 

But they didn't show up. No One ever shows up. Its free food people! Jesus.

 

Instead I get my son pissing all over the couch. Dumping his untouched bowl of soup directly in the garbage and a whole pot of soup I made for someone else.. 

I get to wear a dirty uniform to work because someone decided to RESTART the dryer before LEAVING FOR WORK.

Are you fucking kidding me?! The laundry has been in the dryer for 12 hrs.

I hate touching other people's things.. So yea.

but get this... My clothes that are in the washer? Were there when they restarted the fucking dryer! Can you get any more inconsiderate?!

 

So yea.

 

Oh and I think the copper I have shoved in my uterus (IUD) has shifted.

But of course I work 9-5 tomorrow. So I can't go to the Dr's until Monday.. But the people who were supposed to be here YESTERDAY will be here anywhere between 8 - 5 on Monday to install the internet I paid to have 3 months ago.

 

I'm just kind of done being stepped on by everyone. Even my kid.

Put him to bed tonight and he kissed my cheeks only to wipe them off. Like "Oh hey mom I'm only 2 but this is my way of saying "go Fuck yourself" "

 

 

 
13 min ago / @insanereid +
Keeping Your Head Up Today was actually way better than I was expecting. Not to say I was expecting a bad…
 
47 min ago / @neonite +
Is September Over Yet? These last few days have been crazy. I have been meaning to blog at least once a…
 
52 min ago / @aleeska +
Little bit of guilt First, Im pretty interested in social activism. Im a pretty staunch…
 I like this x 1
3 hrs ago / @cornholio23 +
(no subject) True love is finding a partner who likes the inside of the pot pie and lets you eat all of the crust and a…
 
5 hrs ago / @myspacebarbroke +
Drugs would be more terrifying if they hissed

Drugs would be more terrifying if they hissed.  Bear with me on this one.

 

Imagine an alternate universe, exactly like this one with all the same people and things in it, except with one exception: illegal drugs – like, all of them – would hiss – all the time.  Like a snake.  Hssssssssss.  On their own.  All the time.  

 

I imagine the drug problem would be slightly less severe.

 

Your typical scene:

 

“Hey man, wanna try some drugs?”

 

“I dunno man, they are kinda scary, they said drugs are bad in school!”

 

“C’mon man, drugs are cool”

 

The drug dealer takes the drugs out of his pocket and holds them in his hand.

 

Hssssssssssssssssssss.

 

“Uh...I’ll pass.”

 

 

 LOL x 1
12 hrs ago / @dustball +
New thingy! new thingy! In the great journals of MindSay history, it’d be fair to say that we have…
 I like this x 1Cool beans x 3Cool beans x 3Cool beans x 3
yesterday / @dustball +
(no subject) See kus ma olen on põrgu. Ma ei tea kuidas ma siia sattusin ja ei saa aru miks need kurjad…
 Have a Bear x 1
14 hrs ago / @ontheway +
Saturday Morning Cartoons I will be hosting a social gathering on Slack this Saturday morning, 9AM –…
 
8 hrs ago / @dustball +
Working on something fun for MindSay! So…. Monday was the big night and I gave the stand up comedy…
 I like this x 1Cool beans x 2Cool beans x 2Eye Roll x 1Love x 1
yesterday / @dustball +
still way up

(warning: stream of consciousness, personal feelings about victim shaming, etc)

which means i spent 5 full minutes today crying over presidential candidates.

i can't get my sleep pattern settled. 

i have strange, invigorating dreams. 

and today i received my raise, and i’m able to fully enjoy the excitement.

it's eerie because i finally understand my dad's reluctance to treat his manic depression.  

but i need fucking anti-anxiety medication, because i'm not him, and i think that i could be a less depressed person if i could stop fixating on things. 

people want to complain about my generation, and the millennials, and even the gen x people, bitching about how everyone is on antidepressants, or anti-anxiety medication, or in therapy. saying, “everyone's playing the victim,” only shows me that you've been lucky enough not to be targeted to the degree that you are afraid. anyone who is in a targeted demographic understands what it is to feel victimized; now, what you do with that feeling is crucial, you can feed into it, frustrate and isolate yourself, you can attempt to deny it and internalize it, or you can reach out, work, and overcome it. you can let it fester, and build into unbridled resentment; you can keep that inside, or unleash it on the world.  but the point is, “victim” as an insult is disgusting. because the very concept is that a person has been the victim of something. you can't be a victim without a crime. 

i get it.  you're using it sarcastically, or (wrongfully) “ironically” but what you're really doing is reinforcing the stigma that makes people not reach out for the help that they require to be functional members of society. many people use social constructs to support them through difficult times, and they do this by reaching out in some way – why is the “victim” not entitled to pursue the same type of support? 

some people go play softball, they look up local teams, meet new people, forge connections. some people join support networks (or blog) to do similar things. to feel relief, enjoyment. to connect, communicate, be a part of something with a sense of community. 

aaanyway. that was quite a tangent.  and i feel better.

because my point was, i'm embarrassed to post this, because it's vulnerable...and its only vulnerable because i feel shame. i feel embarrassed that i haven't managed to overcome what my genetics have given me. i look at my depressed mother, my repressed, angry grandmother, my manic depressive father, and i still feel like i must be lazy, and self-indulgent. because as a victim (“victim” ), i don't deserve help, because i should simply “get over it” because that's what “strong” people do. you need to move on. and you do. but if i have learned anything, its that moving on doesn't work if the damn thing is infected. that type of stuff needs taken care of. if an experience burns itself into your brain, you might never let it go. every person's threshold is different, there are no degrees on horror, or degradation, or pain. you can't experience that for another person. you have to process your experience yourself and hopefully, it gets better. ideally you get to lead a better life. and if you need a fucking support system to do that, get one. don't be ashamed to communicate with people that love you.  

including mindsay. 

 

 I like this x 1
yesterday / @morte +
(no subject) And I’ve hit the stress danger zone where I can’t poop and my side hurts, and I’m about…
 Have a Bear x 1
yesterday / @myspacebarbroke +
Giddy about Laundry I’m pretty OCD about most things. I know I drive people nutty, but it is what it…
 
14 hrs ago / @mindset +
I Just Found Out Canned Pumpkin Isn’t Pumpkin At All, And My Whole Life is Basic Emma…
 I like this x 3I like this x 3I like this x 3
2 days ago / @rv1501 +
(no subject) I’m pretty sure my chihuahua needs all his teeth pulled. RIP money and bike dreams.
 Have a Bear x 1
yesterday / @deadite +
(no subject) This whole experience is hell. Everything i see and hear seems to be hell. So many visions, so many that i…
 Have a Bear x 1
yesterday / @ontheway +
I'm Trying i am at a place in my life where I am in a constant state of exhaustion. I am tired of…
 Love x 1
2 days ago / @aleeska +
 
In the early morning hours 9:12am
 I like this x 3I like this x 3I like this x 3
4 days ago / @mel674 +
this is going to seem petty but when I die if I get to go to Heaven… I want it to have…
 Have a Bear x 1
2 days ago / @palaceofperseph +
Inside My Head

Fuck.  Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck! Fuck.  I mean seriously.  Fuck!   I don’t like people. Most people.   People piss me off.  Arrogance, Haughtiness, Self-absorption, Dishonesty, Inconsistency, Greed… all traits I loathe.  And all traits of people I run into or deal with all the time.   I try to never cuss.  I try to always smile and feign pleasant politeness and patience.  I routinely find myself excusing the behaviors of other people but inside I am disgruntled and usually simmering just below the rapid boil setting.  I stuff this overwhelming desire to say “Fuck you.  You mother fucking asshole.  Fuck you!” many times a day. But that doesn’t sound very intelligent, does it?  I have spent my entire life believing that educated and intelligent people should use their vocabularies and refrain from profanity.   Profanity turns me off.  I think it’s vile and disgusting and ignorant sounding.  I hear people using the type of profanity that I hear in my head and I think, “classless”.  I think, “Get an education and learn to express your emotions and feelings without making yourself look so classless.”  But, I also envy them.  They don’t give a fuck.  They don’ care what others think and that must be a terribly liberating thing – to just feel free to pay no thought to the opinions of others.  Like you guys… if anyone actually reads this.   I talk myself out of many posts because I’m overly concerned with how I am perceived and with making sure no one is every offended or made to feel uneasy because of me. Ugh.  But for today I don’t care.  I know what and who I am.  And I am annoyed with people- in- general today.  So for today, and just today, I’m just going to let myself say what is inside my head. Fuck it. 

 

 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @mindset +
Resume Given my current circumstances, having a 9-5 job is pretty impractical for me; however, I do come up…
 I like this x 1Have a Bear x 1Love x 1
4 days ago / @aleeska +
(no subject) Well that shitty job I got is over today because I got a slightly less shitty offer from another employer,…
 Cool beans x 1
3 days ago / @deadite +
Navy launches investigation into sailor who didn't stand for National Anthem FoxNews.com 3 hrs…
 
yesterday / @rv1501 +
(no subject) John D. Loudermilk, Who Wrote ‘Tobacco Road’ and…
 Sad Panda x 1
3 days ago / @rv1501 +
(no subject) Circumcision makes me sad and uncomfortable.
 I don’t even x 1
3 days ago / @deadite +
I'll be honest. So withhold judgement for a second. I really want to get laid. These are feelings that…
 Good idea x 1
4 days ago / @cactusofdoom +
(no subject)

I spent most of my day inside, but I’ve had a bee in my hair THREE TIMES TODAY.

 

One crept into my hair at approximately 8:30pm when I took my dog out to pee. I was putting my leftovers in some tupperware when I felt something tickling my FRESHLY SHOWERED SCALP.

 

Reached up, moved a stray hair, okay all good.

 

Felt it again, moved another hair. Right.

 

A third time I felt something move and heard a buzz when my finger came into contact with it. Flipped over and yelled OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME I FELT IT, IT BUZZED GET IT THE FUCK OUT 

MOM IM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU

THIS IS FOR REAL REALS NOT FOR PLAY PLAY

GET IT OUT

 

then she slapped the shit out of me with junkmail and squished the wasp (lol not a bee) into my fuckin hair.

 

thanks mom

 

 Have a Bear x 1LOL x 1
6 days ago / @deadite +
Pine for Cedars I’m not sure that I remember school being this...terrifyi… I guess is the…
 Have a Bear x 1
4 days ago / @neonite +
When Autumn Comes it Doesn't Ask This weekend flew by. Time is flying by in general right now. I have…
 Love x 1
4 days ago / @mystupidmouth +
 
(no subject) I am emotionally drained. Exhausted. I just feel like there’s nothing left. We moved…
 
2 days ago / @chel2thec +
(no subject) I wonder if I’ve gone and done more than I can take. Probably not. It’s probably just those…
 
2 days ago / @almost23 +
(no subject) I can't focus long enough to type. :/ I wish i had more time for fitness goals. …
 
2 days ago / @cas +
 

Showing 1 - 32.   [ Next ]


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