Public Posts on MindSay

About MindSay

MindSay was a popular blogging site around 2003 - 2006. MindSay is preparing to relaunch itself this year, in 2016.

MindSay's mission is to enable the writer within ourselves.

Our community is not currently accepting new members, but check back soon. Wubalubadubdub!


I spent this evening cleaning my apartment and doing a little bit of re-arranging. This, despite the fact that I will hopefully be moving within the next couple of months.


I accepted an invite to interview for a customer service representative job in the suburbs. There are no jobs available out here in the corn fields, plus I need to get out of this pokey town, so I’m looking forward to finding a job out there and moving out there soon.


My first loan payment will be due next month. Luckily things seem to be looking up a little bit with the job search. I have an acquaintance, a girl I used to work with who is a good friend of one of my good friends, who we also worked with…. (confusing, I know!)… She works at CarMax and really likes it, and I’ve seen a few jobs opening up in the suburbs at their locations, and she said she would put in a good word for me. So now all I need to do is apply. Apparently they have good pay, good opportunities, good bonuses, etc. She likes it, she’s been there longer than the company we worked for together. And my job drives me crazy. So that’s a good sign.


This customer service representative job is serving other professional companies, so I feel better about it than I would if I were serving like… angry people, which would be the case if I interviewed for and got this job at a company that helps families who lost their homes get through the transition of finding a new home. They wanted to interview me but I looked at the reviews of the company and apparently it’s a miserable place to work. Glad I dodged that bullet.


Other than that… I’ve been really busy lately. Working, helping at the museum (we’re preparing for their annual fundraiser), etc.


Time to make dinner.


Jeff and I had a really nice weekend together. That was… really nice!


I can’t wait to find a new job. Can’t wait to get out of these corn fields. Can’t wait to feel normal again.


Today I sort of…. Okay, well… there was some MAJORLY BAD MORAL floating around when I got to work today. An associate confided in me that she was really upset with our GM and how he treated her about a minor mistake she made, and said that she doesn’t need this job that bad and almost walked off this morning. Also we are training a new manager and apparently he came in in a super good mood this morning, really peppy and happy, but withing 20 minutes my GM had him in a terrible mood and just the mood overall was bad. My manager tried to act shitty towards me too but I tried to just let it roll off my shoulders.


So here I have an associate who’s very unhappy, and a new manager in training who is unhappy… and I’m the only manager there besides my asshat GM. I’ve not been in the best mood at work lately myself, because yes, I’m miserable working there as well in general, but that is mostly because of my asshat GM.


So I knuckled down and decided to take responsibility for making it a better day. I reached way down inside and found my smile, and my good attitude, and tried to spread around some positive vibes. Amazingly, it worked. I just told myself that it wasn’t okay for everyone to be so miserable because of one jerk, and made myself in a good mood, and tried to touch those around me with that energy. I took control of the MIT’s training today and sort of guided him through his shift today, and I chatted about silly things with the associate who was upset, and focused on helping everyone out and bringing a positive mood. Again, I was slightly surprised at the affect I had. At the end of the day the associate wrote me a note thanking me for always being such a pleasure to work with, and left her shift with a big smile, at the MIT thanked me for helping him with his shift today and his smile came back, too. Everyone was a lot happier. Except my GM. But we did our best to ignore him. Luckily he wasn’t in charge of the shift today, the MIT was, and as a manager myself I just took control of things as much as I could where I could, without pushing our MIT aside.


I’m saying all of this because… I’ve been doubting myself lately. When you work constantly in a shitty envioronment, and have trouble finding a new job, it can really give your confidence a hit. And I needed this boost of confidence in my abilities to lead and to be a good team player in order to do well in the interview I have this week, and other interviews I hope I’ll have in the future and in my NEW JOB that I’ll hopefully have. It is hard to do well in interviews if your current morale is SHIT. So I call today a win.




2 hrs ago / @divine +
(no subject) Hi all, I applied out of state and have an interview with them today; however, I don’t even…
 I like this x 1
7 hrs ago / @americancer +
Here’s why Obama and Hillary must stop Donald Trump at all costs Posted on July 9,…
9 hrs ago / @rv1501 +
(no subject) “Do as I say, not as I do.” seems to be the motto of the Democratic party. …
9 hrs ago / @rv1501 +
(no subject) Day 2 at the hospital. Yesterday, mom didn't recognize me at first, which was painful. Later her nurse…
10 hrs ago / @mystupidmouth +
(no subject)

Slamming doors - I'm here but I'm trapped inside

The darkest shades of grey roll through my head


A weight on the air I feel it in the silence

Take a second to listen,

The earth starts to shake, the sky begins to fall

Can you hear it coming down?


I was safe, I was brave

Until the sky collapsed on me

Can you hear the thunder in my chest?

Can you feel how heavy lies the air?

Let it fall, let it fall

Let it all be swallowed by the storm

Can you hear the thunder in my chest?

Rain down on me, rain down on me.


Don't want to admit to myself

This can't just be in my head!


I was safe, I was brave

Until the sky collapsed on me

Can you hear the thunder in my chest?

Can you feel how heavy lies the air?

Let it fall, let it fall

Let it all be swallowed by the storm

Can you hear the thunder in my chest?

Rain down on me, rain down on me.


10 hrs ago / @esaeler +
(no subject) “I am not what You think I am. You are what You think I am.” I saw something that seemed…
11 hrs ago / @ontheway +
(no subject) My own stupid fears are getting me. I feel like I’ve found a note that says, “there are no…
12 hrs ago / @ontheway +
Yesterday Night's Dream Of Shapechanging Not this night but the previous one I had a dream that I was…
 I like this x 1
yesterday / @resipsaloquitur +
what is an ego? I will continuously post and delete this because I feel so guilty but I’m freaking…
 I like this x 4I like this x 4I like this x 4I like this x 4LOL x 1
5 days ago / @freakofnature +
(no subject)

My life on the line of reality and nightmares. I feel like I have hurt my family in so many ways, with my crazy visions/which seem very real lately. I feel responsible for destroying my brother’s lives and my sister’s life with my own crazy self, my visions and deeds and all, which is not their fault. I want to say, I am sorry for everything. My sins are not your fault. I am sorry. I also remember from the last time in the 5th department, when I had layed down to sleep one woman said “let’s let the blood out” which I took personally. But I let myself sleep there anyways. And I can’t tell my family about my other carazy visions because all they say is that things like that never happened. But if these visions were hidden in me for so long and now starting to seem real, where has the time gone and what has actually happened? And all these repetitive moments and people saying things and taking me places. I’m not really sure what is the meaning of all of this. I have visions of good people seeming quite evil. These are friends and neighbors. I feel like Alice in Wonderland, except the world of mine is much more scarier. When S. invited me to the latest Alice movie, I couldn’t go, I was already having a silent meltdown inside. Just because I’m sitting quietly doesn’t mean I don’t want to die inside. With my crazyness I have all kinds of strange thoughts. But mostly, it’s as the saying goes, “so much data, not enough information” in which data is the bits of info, not info itself. Like A. once told me, it’s a puzzle. But I feel like I can’t put it together alone. And I still want to know, what is truth?
And moreover, all the visions, starting from childhood? Which are true?`Which are not? Who is going to sit down with me to discuss them?
I just want to add that I have been out of place for a while. This brain must be dysfunctional and broken. I have had thoughts that people are not real. Then I thought the exact opposite, that they are real and I am some sort of who-knows-what.
I just don’t want my family to suffer because of me, although something tells me they are and have been suffering because of me. If I am so evil though, why wasn’t something done about me alread in my childhood? I am certain I have been in the nuthouse more than 3 times. My family does not deserve it. They do not have my sins. I am sorry. Who can I talk to?


17 hrs ago / @ontheway +
(no subject) I have some strange visions/memories of men, strangers raping me, or at least holding me captive and…
18 hrs ago / @ontheway +
Doom Bird Has Gotten Stronger I’ve been playing Pokemon a lot, which is legit. Alli may…
yesterday / @deeterz +
GJK GJK, you died today. Well I guess technically, you died yesterday, but right now is not the…
 I like this x 3I like this x 3I like this x 3
4 days ago / @eje224 +
2 weeks in Two weeks in, and work is incredible. I could not have asked for a better job. I had low…
yesterday / @chel2thec +
(no subject) the fear in me is so fucking strong I want to die
yesterday / @americancer +
(no subject) I’m so fucking exhausted emotionally and physically, but I want to write about this at least…
 I like this x 1Have a Bear x 1
4 days ago / @mystupidmouth +
it shocks me That complexion is an issue.. All complexions, races, and skin colors are…
 I like this x 3I like this x 3I like this x 3
6 days ago / @cornholio23 +
(no subject) “Kõik on nii head, targad, ausad, süütud, tolerantsed… vägisi tekib…
yesterday / @ontheway +
(no subject) I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry to everyone I have hurt whether knowingly or…
yesterday / @ontheway +
(no subject) I honestly feel like a bag of shit. There are so many visions and moments of the past that I do not…
yesterday / @ontheway +
A thought for the day...

Do you know what pisses me off?


AFRICAN-Americans, MEXICAN-Americans, GERMAN-Americans,

IRISH-Americans, POLISH-Americans, etc., etc., ad nauseam… 


IF, you are a legal AMERICAN citizen, regardless of country

or origin, ethnicity, or race, you are AN AMERICAN


Plain and simple!!



( For some reason, when playing “Cowboys and Indians

images of natives of India do not come to mind! )


This country will never be united until all peoples cease

and desist this self-imposed racism and bigotry. But then,

the powers-that-be like and promote this divide… Gawd

forbid we all get on the same page and unite as one

peoples, fostering peace and harmony! We would cease

to be “the downtroddened” and just maybe, regain our

country; of the people, by the people and for the people!


At there is a petition demanding that Black

Lives Matter (BLM) be declared a terrorist organization. I can’t

disagree! ALL LIVES MATTER!! They bitch that sooo many

blacks are being killed by law enforcement. Well Kmart shoppers,

MORE whites and Hispanics are killed than blacks by a VERY

LARGE MARGIN!  If, White Lives Matter (No such group I’m

aware of) marched through the streets, they would be called



There’s a movement to have injuring or killing a cop added to the

“Hate Crimes” list. Before you know it, ANY crime will be a “HATE

CRIME”! But keep in mind, it’s OK for them to KILL US!!!  DUH?!


< Steps down from his soapbox >


 I like this x 2I like this x 2
6 days ago / @rv1501 +
"Becoming Myself" It is a great time of change right now for me. I am just coming back to work…
 I like this x 1
3 days ago / @ladylily +
yanking the cord Yesterday I was working online, actually earning increments of money, while watching old…
yesterday / @palaceofperseph +
WHO’S PAYING THE PRICE: Leftists Use #BlackLivesMatt… to Exploit Blacks, Again by…
 I like this x 1
5 days ago / @rv1501 +
It's the little things . . . possible ED trigger? This entry was originally supposed to be posted on…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2
6 days ago / @hauntedwhisper +
(no subject) I’m taking a very conservative person, who is also homophobic to a baseball game tomorrow with…
2 days ago / @myspacebarbroke +
Facebook A little bit ago, right after the Orlando attacks happened I think(Or was it Dallas? I can’t…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2
6 days ago / @Smurfy +
Obama signs opioid bill

The Hill

Harper Neidig

17 hrs ago


President Obama signed a bill aimed at addressing opioid addiction Friday, though he called out Republicans for the measure's shortcomings.


Lawmakers in both parties reached a compromise over the bipartisan Comprehensive Addiction and Recovery Act of 2016, though Senate Democrats held out hope until the final hour that they could more funding for treatment.


"This legislation includes some modest steps to address the opioid epidemic," Obama said in a statement. "Given the scope of this crisis, some action is better than none. However, I am deeply disappointed that Republicans failed to provide any real resources for those seeking addiction treatment to get the care that they need."


He also noted that GOP lawmakers had blocked an additional $920 million in funding for addiction treatment.


The bill passed the Senate 92-2 Wednesday night, with Sens. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) and Mike Lee (R-Utah) the only dissenters.


Despite it passing bipartisan support, many Democrats are calling for stronger measures to address the crisis.


"This has a few good things, but it is not close enough," Sen. Charles Schumer (N.Y.), the chamber's No. 3 Democrat, said on the floor Wednesday.


"My Administration has been doing everything we can to increase access to treatment, and I'm going to continue fighting to secure the funding families desperately need," Obama said in his statement Friday. "In recent days, the law enforcement community, advocates, physicians, and elected officials from both sides of the aisle have also joined in this call."


"Now, it's up to Republicans to finish the job and provide adequate funding to deal with this public health crisis," he added. "That's what the American people deserve."



“Crisis”? What “crisis”? The only “crisis” is the effing

government effing with the health and healthcare of “We

the people” !!


Ya know, I could live with an opioid addiction if

it meant a lifetime of less pain than what I was 

suffering prior to receiving medication from




Granted, I’m not on oxy or hydrocodone, but what

I do take allows me to get 5 or more hours of sleep

up from the 2-3 hours I was experiencing before

medication! It’s amazing how your attitude and

outlook on life can change with a (for me) good

nights sleep.




2 days ago / @rv1501 +
The lengths that I will go to, The distance in your eyes You know how you really like someone? And you get…
 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @mel674 +
I keep telling myself to come here But I’m really only compelled to post when I feel miserable. So I…
2 days ago / @cactusofdoom +
When Thoughts of Suicide Crack You Up I’m going to discuss mental health issues pertaining to…
3 days ago / @c4fine13u22 +

Showing 1 - 32.   [ Next ]

My Account Inbox
Account Settings
Lost Password?
Blog Publish New Entry
Edit Old Entries
Customize Design
Community Inbox
Your Profile
MindSay Tags
Inside MindSay About MindSay
MindSay and RSS
© 2003-2016 MindSay Interactive LLC
| Terms of Service
| Privacy Policy

34 unique logged-in users yesterday
39 unique logged-in last 24 hours (updated hourly)