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(no subject)

feeling sick, & scared, for my friends of color, for my openly gay & engaged little brother...for my girlfriend, who just married her wife a few months ago...for my clients, who are disabled, & are being openly mocked by the person who is supposed to be intelligent & diplomatic enough to run our country.  it's going to be normalized to treat people in an abusive way. that's the future i'm looking at, & terrified of. a world where it's okay to "bash" someone because they're a "fag." a world where it's okay to mistreat people with mental & developmental disabilities. a future that may put education back significantly, & might attempt to put women "back in the kitchen."these are the realities we're facing. a wall, deporting millions..those are large ideas that will need lots of time, money, & effort. hate, bigotry, racism, misogyny..those seeds have already been planted, & now they're going to be nurtured by the absolute biggest pile of shit, ever. & we all know, things grow with the help of manure.


 I like this x 1Have a Bear x 1
6 hrs ago / @morte +
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On the now-president So I'm dyed-in-the-wool liberal, but watching from afar, I'm a little enamored…
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6 hrs ago / @schencka +
(no subject) So a few of days ago I deleted Facebook from my phone. I didn’t delete my account or anything but…
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yesterday / @americancer +
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4 days ago / @almost23 +
A thought for the day... Reading Trump’s inaugural speech I noticed something. He used the…
17 hrs ago / @rv1501 +
Campus Outbreak This evening has been insane. A few friends and I were supposed to get together to…
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yesterday / @neonite +
Dog roast for dinner??! :( :( :(

About 10 yrs ago, a co-worker (an animal activist) introduced me to the horrible dog meat trade by showing me videos….  I wasn’t prepared for the graphic and disturbing images I was about to see.  My concern for canines was greater than my aversion so I kept watching.  yep, was a mess the rest of the day. and since then, I guess I’ve tried to block it out.  I couldn’t handle the thought.  well now I figure I can at least talk about it.  


I think more people should be aware, even if they can’t get themselves to watch what goes on, at least we can know it exists and help spread the word, maybe cause enough outrage and support worldwide, and eventually move towards banning it altogether.     


It’s a long tradition in some cultures...China, Korea, Vietnam -..some main ones that eat dog meat.  The slaughterhouses are hidden away, pushed “underground” to avoid protesters.  Many argue that if Americans eat cow, which is sacred in some countries, others should be able to eat whatever the hell they like.  But y’know what…  any animal being slowly tortured to death, I would be appalled at.  


The unnecessary torture they inflict onto these dogs is what kills me!!  to dogs and cats!  cat is eaten too.  


It’s thought that putting the animal through shit, raising their adrenaline and stress hormones somehow makes the meat more flavorful.  Some believe this lends to healthful, medicinal properties, even male virility, and just plain good luck.  how vile. oh, and the money it brings I guess is another reason.  


Pet dogs are often stolen from their owners and swept away to a very unfortunate fate.  They are sold to the slaughterhouses.  Saw one video, where a little girl was walking through the streets where dog meat was being sold, and she recognized one torched dog as her very own that was stolen. She, of course, was traumatized. 


Anyways, the vid below is not too graphic, it was mild enough for prime time news in America.  But what people don’t see, and may not want to see?…      ***** Here is when you should STOP reading this if it’s too disturbing*****



what we don’t see done to these LIVE dogs:

the hangings while being struck again and again like a pinata; 

dogs thrown into large sacks, then beaten to a pulp with steel poles; 

they’re dragged on the leash, yanked off their feet, and dropped into a cauldron of boiling water; 

dogs having their paws nailed to boards, basically crucified, and then blow torched until they’re done;

their feet are chopped off to begin the skinning process— their fur is peeled off, all while the animal is writhing and screaming;  


you get the picture.  The sounds that come from these poor dogs…  I can’t fathom how these people have such little regard to the obvious amount of pain they are inflicting onto another creature.  not to mention, other ugly stuff that comes along with the trade…. violence against activists, theft, spread of disease.  I guess for some, the gourmet delicacy of dog meat is worth all of that.  


so up until their slaughter, they suffer lousy conditions.  stored in cages where so many are crammed in, that they can’t even stand up.  but a quick death would be better than what lies ahead.  


Makes me want to do something.  Some stuff we can do:

-Donate to the cause,


-learn and share with others, search “Yulin” on youtube… see just how real and how prevalent this is?!!…    

-encourage others to spread the word too,

-post comments on social media to bring attention to it.

even if it saves just one more dog or cat that would have no hope otherwise… we can help.  




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2 days ago / @chri +
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Disdain I have trouble ending things. Bad jobs. Bad internships. Bad relationships. …
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3 days ago / @divine +
A thought for the day... the END of an era... Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye Na na na na,…
yesterday / @rv1501 +
(no subject)
yesterday / @almost23 +
Unity 3D Tutorial Want to learn Unity 3D? I made a beginner tutorial today: Download Unity…
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3 days ago / @dustball +
I don't mess around, guys.

When this girl makes up her mind, this girl makes up her mind.


Got ahold of a cousin, an uncle, another cousin, and an aunt. I’m still a bit foggy on all the connections, but I know that a few of them were raised as siblings (along with her dad- whom I have no contact with and whom I’m 90% sure will NOT be in attendance).


I told them two weekends that we might potentially be heading to Kansas City (next month). I asked if they’d be interested in getting together at some point, somewhere when we end up going down there. (Sienna and I) I heard from one of them (the cousin) who said him and her uncle are IN. I told them that was great and I’d get them more details once I figure out when I’m headed down there with her. Also- I’ll have to have them get ahold of her great-grandma, who actually is the one who raised the kids- so is like their mother-figure. She’s been interested in meeting Sienna….. along with Sienna’s great-grandfather, unfortunately he passed away last month. (WHICH is another reason for me doing this really quickly. You can’t always keep putting things off that are important and that are necessary. You don’t always get “tomorrow” or “someday”.)

Before anything happens to anybody else, I think it’s best that they all meet each other and she gets to meet her family.

It does tear me apart that her dad (as far as I know) has no interest in meeting her. I have been very open with her about this. I know that a couple of years ago this was a reason she wasn’t sure she wanted to go. She really wanted to meet him. (obviously)

I told her she doesn’t need to go if she isn’t ready for that. Kept reassuring her that her other family loves her and really wishes to meet her and that maybe someday he will come around but as for now, he is making many poor choices. He is the one missing out. UGH it’s so so painful.

I guess all I can do is pray. I know that they’re all super upset about his actions and his choices, if anything- they’ll have to talk to him. And he’ll just have to “come around” it isn’t something that can be forced.


ANYWAY. She’s thought long and hard for two years. When I asked her today if she wanted to go to Kansas City next month to visit a friend of mine she was excited (as am I!!!!!- my bestie from college!!!!). Then, I asked if I should get ahold of her family. She had a little glow in her face that I’ve never seen and said “yes! I do. I want you to talk to them. please.” I think she’s ready.

I know she’s only 11. But she’s a mature eleven year old. I think I need to respect her wishes on this one.

I know it’ll be hard.

I know it’ll be tough sometimes.

I know there’s so much more beneath the surface.

I also know that I don’t know everything and I need to trust my daughter on this one that she’s ready.



I have also been reading articles which are of SOME help but not much. Like people say, the best thing is being open and not being blind to things- which is hard to do. I read one that had a great idea about having a mentor for her. But, honestly…. I don’t know how to do that. I legit do NOT know any people around here to mentor her lol. There just aren’t. And I can’t just walk up to any Dick or Jane on the street and say “hey, I noticed you’re black….. do you have any interest in ‘mentoring’ my daughter” lol. UGH. So, at least if she does meet this family of hers- she’ll have that connection and that could be a start.


Because seriously, she’s got enough odds stacked against her. With her depression and anxiety- she doesn’t need anything else feeding into that. She’s an amazing young lady.


I wonder if there are any books or movies that would be good for HER to read. I know of some but they’re not exactly PG-rated. Time to get back to the google.


OH- and also- she’s at the basketball game with some friends of hers.


And when you think about how things were in this country 50...60 years ago…. I’m not sure she’d be going to the basketball game with the same friends. I don’t know. So, even though there is a lot of crap going on in this world, there’s a positive for us all. :) Right???






UGH. and this is also why I don’t date. Because I’m more consumed with this whole “parenting” thing. Seriously.


Don’t get knocked up when you’re 19, guys.
Don’t do it.


Get married. When you’re at least 30. THEN have the kids. ;)


 Have a Bear x 1
3 days ago / @almost23 +
Google BS Just finally finished my FAFSA. I’m kicking myself for not doing it earlier. It was so…
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4 days ago / @divine +
Brian in mixed reality My first experiment into Mixed Reality:
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4 days ago / @dustball +
A thought for the day... ONE MORE DAY!!
2 days ago / @rv1501 +
Eight vs the rest of the world According to the latest calculation, eight people—mostly American…
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5 days ago / @jacksez +
Chantix Dreams

I started Chantix. One of the side effects is very vivid dreams.


They certainly have been vivid. I want to record them and how messed up they are.


So the setting of the first one was in one of our local villages. Think like a Bond movie when they are watching the parade from a two story building, downtown. But the room we’re in is dilapidated. Parade goes by, and I turn around to walk across the room to the stairs. I trip and fall. I try to get up but the wood floor keeps giving when i try to push myself up. I finally make it to the stair and head downstairs. This next scene is pretty symbolic. I’ll explain why in a moment. So i come down stairs and the room opens up into a nice ‘abandoned warehouse turned chic open air lounge room’. Sitting around the room, are men from around where I live. Like some of the big names. They’re all super judgmental about the guy I’m with. (We’re going on a date this weekend IRL). 

No one said anything, I could  just tell by the looks on their face.


That was the end of that one.


Last night was just as insane. 

Last week, because my dog is a salty bitch and I had yelled at him for getting in the trash, while I was getting ready for work, he peed on my bed. 

THANK THE BABY JEEBUS I have a fully made up bed. I had a flat sheet, fitted sheet, mattress pad, mattress protector on, so it barely  got damp, but in a very small area, less than 6” in diameter. 


Anyway, Last night, I dreamed I was laying in my room. I hurried to get out of bed for a knock at the door, and he had peed again in my bed. 


Then I woke up.

I actually had to check my sheet. 


** guy i’m going out with, he is older. LIke 45. I’m 25. At this rate, I don’t feel like it matters thattt much, because I’m an adult. He’s an adult. He’s never been married, no kids, so he doesn’t have the normal baggage someone his age would have. He’s really nice. So we’ll see. 


 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @bandgeek24 +
2 days ago / @bandgeek24 +
My Oneiric Third Way Politcs? I have quite active dreams from roughly 3 a.m. to 5 a.m., after which I…
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6 days ago / @schencka +
(no subject) you know those questions like…… “If you could know when your last day on…
3 days ago / @almost23 +
Community Poll If you earned a liberal art’s degree, what was your degree in and what was first job…
3 days ago / @divine +
(no subject) I found out that when Pam gets really mad she cries, just like me.
3 days ago / @deeterz +
(no subject) When you're joking about your wedding but you're also kind of serious. When you know you knkw
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6 days ago / @americancer +
(no subject)
3 days ago / @mel674 +
A thought for the day... TWO MORE DAYS!!
3 days ago / @rv1501 +

so, today is the first time i have missed tim in a week or so. sometimes i get angry at him, but rarely am i actually missing him...right now, i miss having the ability to text him, and share my happiness with someone who legitimately seemed to enjoy it. i really felt like he had a fantastic foundation for genuine compersion and nonmonogamy. i mean, he probably still does have those things, it just won't be as part of my polycule. 

john and maria are at a brewery right now, having drinks. i'm jumping out of my skin with excitement-fueled anxiety. i want to keep texting both of them lol but i can't. that would be quite intrusive. so i really wish i could text someone who could comprehend how i feel right now, how pleased and nervous and full of compersion i am. 


3 days ago / @morte +
Run With It So I keep thinking about this so I wanted to write about it to get it out of my system I…
5 days ago / @divine +

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